On Raw this week, 11th of July, Dean Ambrose made a pretty good point. He said he likes to have fun, he likes to have a joke and enjoy himself, but that he, himself isn’t a joke champion. I heaved a sigh of relief. This is something I’ve been worrying about since Dean got the championship, because he’s been played for laughs an awful lot recently, and that’s something WWE have taken to doing with their title holders.
So, Steph here to do a SmackDown before I completely forget how to recap! I’ll apologise now for the lack of pictures, but I’m doing this recap of leaked video, because SmackDown goes live here in jolly old England at 1am, and I’m damned if I’m staying up and upsetting my rabbits. They find the sound of wrestling quite disturbing.
First Triple H and now Double R. The rate that wrestlers are disappearing as soon as they lose the title is staggering. Luckily for you, here on Kayfabe Korner we have the theories WWE is scared to admit are true or even valid.
Okay. Strap in your seat belts kids, it’s gonna be a long and winding road.
The Sunday Round-Up is upon us!
Money in the Bank PPV
Dean Ambrose successfully beat Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Alberto del Rio, Cesaro and Chris Jericho for the Money in the Bank contract in the 6-man ladder match.
Seth Rollins defeated Roman Reigns by pinfall to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Dean Ambrose cashed in the Money in the Bank contract for an opportunity to face Seth Rollins in a title match. Dean Ambrose won by pinfall to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
The show opens with a video of Dean pulling up in a taxi, and accidentally leaving the Heavyweight Championship title behind. This is actually a perfect way to start his reign, I’m not gonna lie. He’s also the first person we see come out into the ring, with his music hitting and I still haven’t got over seeing WWE World Heavyweight Champion Dean Ambrose, so I’m grinning hugely. Commentators are despairing, calling this the “darkest day” and complaining that a “lunatic” is the new face of the company while we get a recap of the Money in the Bank ladder match and the championship match with Dean’s cash-in. I was really hoping that Dean being champion might mean we get to leave the lunatic angle behind, but we can’t have everything now, can we?
“You deserve this” chants from the crowd while Dean looks just as happy in the ring with the title as I am to see him there. Dean admits that he had a pretty long and hard night, not all of which he remembers, involving some sort of shenanigans with a security guard and a dog, and also he won Money in the Bank and became champion. I understand, man, it’s rough. The lesson to be learned from last night is that what goes around, comes around, and hard work pays off. If Seth was “the man” and Roman was “the guy”, that probably makes Dean “the dude”, which I’m… not really comfortable with, but whatever makes you happy, champ. Dean’s been chasing the title for two years, and now he’s finally got it. What a glorious day.
Spoilers ahoy, guys – the plain results, no funny anecdotes!
The network opens with zero sound. Well, this is interesting. And then they turn the sound on, because people aren’t clever. So, we’ve got Booker T, Corey Graves, Renee Young – and Lita! We get a picture journey of Renee and Lita hanging out in Vegas, which looks like a hell of a night. I need a girly friend I can go drinking with. Volunteers?
We open with Chris Jericho in the ring for the Highlight Reel. The way he’s telling us all to be quiet, I start to feel sorry for the poor, obviously hungover, wrestler, before I remember that this is just what Jericho sounds like when he’s grouchy. He brags a little more about how he invented Money in the Bank despite never having won, and then invites Dean Ambrose down to be his guest. Dean makes his way down the ramp holding what I’m pretty sure is a fast food soda cup that I have to assume is going all over Jericho and/or his $20,000 carpet, and we recap the events of the Shield reunion on RAW. My Shield feelings have still not recovered, so forgive me for not recapping this in more detail.
Dean is more interested in asking about Jericho’s carpet, which is much nicer than the weird shag rug that he uses for his show. Jericho demands that Dean watch the coffee, which is apparently what is in the cup, and not spill it all over his Serengeti yak carpet, before asking the important question. Why the hell did Dean bring a cup of coffee to the ring with him anyway? So he can drink in the gift of Jericho, apparently. That’s not what he means by that, Dean. That’s never what he means by that.
We open the program with a recap of John Cena’s return to Monday Night RAW and the very exciting heel turn of AJ Styles. I have had many doubts about how AJ’s story has been progressing, but watching him, Gallows and Anderson beating the hell out of Cena just made me happy inside in a way I can’t explain. I won’t try. Just know that it’s true.
Once the show starts proper…
IT’S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS.
We open with a ten bell salute in honor of Memorial Day, closely followed by a video package of various superstars reciting a presidential speech. Most of them are dressed up, but Roman, John Cena, and Dolph are wearing their own t-shirts and Dean is wearing some kind of random Las Vegas shirt. It’s pretty jarring and we’re all suddenly very uncomfortable about coming here to watch grown men beat the snot out of each other.
Shane O’Mac comes out for the traditional Raw opening monologue, and he’s quickly joined by Steph. I guess it’s supposed to be like she interrupted him, but they must have been standing together at Gorilla, right? Also they’re supposed to be doing this together so technically HE was the rude one, right?