It’s that time again! It’s Raw! So, we start with a recap of last week, where Mick Foley tried to fire Stephanie McMahon, because of course he did, and then Triple H turned up to call him a pathetic has-been. And then the claw, and the low blow from Steph. And then Seth, throwing his crutch aside, and smack Trips around, before Trips ruins his knee again, for funsies. Also, shirtless Triple H holding onto Seth as he writhes in pain. I’d say that’s a kink I didn’t know I had, but let’s be honest here, I think we all knew I had it.
We may be on the road to WrestleMania, but god help me I will turn this car around. Sora covers Raw from March 13th, in Detroit, Michigan.
Well, thanks to the Rumble and a lot of Progress, I will have watched around fifteen hours of wrestling programming by the time this Raw is over. It’s been a busy couple of days. We’re here tonight in Laredo, Texas, with the WrestleMania sign in full glory. What’s going to happen tonight?
Hey everyone! Sora filling in for Steph again because I love RAW that much. Let’s get this over with.
We open with a JeriKO package that reminds me of circa 2000s shipping AMVs. It shows Jericho and KO beating Roman for the US championship title because teamwork makes the dream work.
Has it really been a week since last Raw? It feels like it’s been a million years – because nothing happened – and also no time at all – because nothing happened. It was a dull Raw, and while this one should, theoretically be better, because it’s a new year, but I can’t actually promise that. But hey, apparently there’s Goldberg this week, so that’s good, right? This is also the last Raw recapped using my old laptop, as my new one turns up tomorrow, and will be able to play WWE 2K17. So don’t expect me to be prompt with anything after that arrives.
Oh, and Happy New Year, readers. We made it to 2017. Now to see if Raw will finish us off.
Raw comes to you tonight, live from Charlotte, North Carolina, the city Charlotte Flair was born in. I get my stream working five minutes in, so we start without the usual guff and bluster about what happened last week. Which is a shame, as I didn’t cover last week, and could have done with the refresher course.
Well, we’re told that tonight, fantasy warfare gets real. Got to say, my idea of fantasy warfare doesn’t start with a two hour pre-show, but I’ve got a cup of tea in my hand, so I guess that’s some sort of English fantasy right there. Personally, my idea of fantasy when it comes to wrestling involves Seth Rollins doing Charlotte Flair’s entrance, complete with splits. It’s just a thing.
Okay, bats and ghouls, let’s do this, on the spookiest night in WWE programming! Fair disclosure, I slept through Hell in a Cell, because I’d slept 16 hours in the past six days, and needed to close my eyes for a bit. Thank you, new meds. So this is being recapped after the fact, and not ignoring that I’ve now had about 24 hours of sleep in the past 7 days, it might be a bit weird. Also, I’m skipping all of the talk on the pre-show, because, well… I can. And because literally, looking at Jerry Lawler in the state I’m in right now might put me over the edge. Renee’s pumpkin sweater, though, I fucking love that.
Welcome to Monday Night Raw! After that amazing and historic pay-per-view last night, we open this Halloween edition of RAW with Goldberg making his way to the ring. These things aren’t related. I was just hoping something would be.
Ah, October. Pumpkins, ghoulies and ghosties, a pink ring rope, and Hell in a Cell. No Undertaker, as apparently WWE haven’t cleared him, and he’s being grumpy about it on twitter, but hey, who says you need a scary wrestler at Hell in a Cell?