Welcome to SmackDown Live! We open with Renee Young in the ring, introducing Shinsuke Nakamura! I still haven’t gotten over my excitement at Shinsuke being on SmackDown, and he’s showing me exactly why right now.
Welcome to the post-Mania SmackDown!
I’m coming in late on this one because of some problems with traffic on my way home from work but if I know anything about WWE it’s that they will catch me up with a replay later on.
Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.
We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.
It’s that time again, my kayfabulous kittens, and while we’re overdue thanks to those delightful BritWres boys, I thought we’d catch up on the last couple of weeks. A drought of delectable gentleman is never a good thing now, is it? And while those pretty English boys might slake our lust for a week or two, there’s something nice about going back to a well-used toy, darlings. And so here we are again, back in bed with WWE and wishing we’d had less to drink last night, trying to slip out of the door without waking them up and making us give them our number!
We open this week with a recap of the previous week’s events; AJ Styles lost the number one contendership to Randy Orton, then confronted Shane McMahon over how absurd the whole thing was. Which, he’s not really wrong.
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
Hello and welcome to SmackDown Live again! We open with a recap of Bray Wyatt winning the Championship, then defending against AJ Styles and John Cena last week. Orton went down on one knee, and the filter they put on his voice for this replay makes him sound like Bray’s robot servant. Still, there’s a battle royal coming up tonight to determine a new contender to face Bray Wyatt at WrestleMania.
Welcome to SmackDown Live! Coming to you from Corpus Christi, Texas, we open with a retrospective on Sunday Night’s Royal Rumble. We’re officially on the road to WrestleMania now, folks. It was a big night for SmackDown superstars, with Randy Orton taking the Rumble and Cena becoming a 16 time champion in a great match against AJ Styles.
It’s a tag team tonight! Jess and Steph, back as a team for another dual-brand PPV! This means the six+ hours of wrestling we’re about to endure – sorry, I mean enjoy – won’t be done alone by one of us who wishes desperately that they were asleep or drunk. Jess will take the SmackDown specific matches, Steph the Raw specific ones, and as Jess did the hour long Survivor Series match, it’s Steph’s turn to suffer, so she’s got the Rumble. Let’s do this.
Well, happy new year, dearest, dirty little darlings! I know it’s a trying time for all of us at the moment, what with certain governmental nonsense, but sweethearts, if the world of wrestling is good for nothing else, it’s at least good for giving us gorgeous piles of man to drool over, right? I mean, um… emotional connections, storytelling, spots – oh, who am I kidding? We all know why we’re here! Here’s our update on what’s been happening the last few weeks, while we’ve all been too distracted by political thoughts. Don’t look, darlings, it’s all terribly upsetting. Instead, let me update you on the love lives of our boys of WWE.