raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw, 12th December ’16 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Well, I’m here, only 45mins late for Raw, but you’ve got to forgive someone who’s spent their day being gently drowned by children for what they call ‘fun week’, which is only fun if you’re less than four foot high and like leaping on your teacher simply because she’s in the water for once. I’m not bitter, but I am cold, exhausted, and it’s only the first day of the week, so allow me to approach Raw with the same due sense of exhaustion and dread with which I do work.

Oh, fuck me, it is Roadblock on Sunday? Oh Christ. Drown me, I take it all back. Raw comes to us this week from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, two words I can’t spell at 2am without Wikipedia. I will do basic catch up work, and then we’ll start from whatever happened at 1.45am. Good grief, I’m shattered.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 5th December ’16 – Austin, Texas

We open with Seth’s music, because the boy has zero chill, and can’t wait five minutes for us to start the show. Yes, hello Mr Extra, we all see you. Seth’s got a mic, and he’s here to talk to us about how he wants Triple H. Seth, he’s married, he’s just not that into you, poppet. Seth says breaking up the Shield taught him about how actions have consequences. He’s a little upset that Daddy’s got some new toys, that’s what I’m getting here. Apparently the Pedigree for Jericho was a message for Triple H. Seth, Christmas cards exist, darling, it’s the season for them, just send him a nice card with a small, cute polar bear in a scarf on it. Seth says he’s got to get Jericho out of the way first, because Kevin uses him, and then once he takes Kevin’s title, that will mean Triple H has to show up.

ppv · Rehash · survivor series

PPV Rehash: Survivor Series 2016

Well, we’re told that tonight, fantasy warfare gets real. Got to say, my idea of fantasy warfare doesn’t start with a two hour pre-show, but I’ve got a cup of tea in my hand, so I guess that’s some sort of English fantasy right there. Personally, my idea of fantasy when it comes to wrestling involves Seth Rollins doing Charlotte Flair’s entrance, complete with splits. It’s just a thing.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 14th November ’16 – Buffalo, New York

And we’re back, after a blip to cope with the American election results, despite neither of us being American, with Monday Night Raw! This week we’re coming live from Buffalo, New York, and we’re looking at a line of the Raw participants in Survivor Series this Sunday. They’ve stood Brian Kendrick next to Seth Rollins, and he looks so comically small that it’s like one of those scenes in Lord of the Rings when they take out the perspective tricks and you realise that Ian McKellan and Elijah Wood are sitting at two different tables.

Hell in a Cell · ppv · Rehash · Results

PPV Rehash: Hell in a Cell 2016

Okay, bats and ghouls, let’s do this, on the spookiest night in WWE programming! Fair disclosure, I slept through Hell in a Cell, because I’d slept 16 hours in the past six days, and needed to close my eyes for a bit. Thank you, new meds. So this is being recapped after the fact, and not ignoring that I’ve now had about 24 hours of sleep in the past 7 days, it might be a bit weird. Also, I’m skipping all of the talk on the pre-show, because, well… I can. And because literally, looking at Jerry Lawler in the state I’m in right now might put me over the edge. Renee’s pumpkin sweater, though, I fucking love that.