We open with Seth’s music hitting, and he makes his way down to the ring as we are reminded about the upcoming triple threat match. Seth claims that he’s going to talk about Roman Reigns, even though he’s not supposed to, because it’s live television. He starts aggressively mocking Roman Reigns’s tweet about the suspension; he can’t apologize to is friends because it’s one vs. all, and he can’t apologize to the fans, and the whole thing embarrassed Seth Rollins because he built Roman Reigns when he put together the Shield.
Seth demands that Roman be taken out of the match at Battleground because he doesn’t deserve to be there given the suspension, and asks for a one-on-one rematch with Dean Ambrose instead. Dean makes his way out to the ring at this point, because of course he does. He takes some time showing the title off to Seth before he actually starts speaking, and I love it when Dean gets like this, I really do.
The unlikely alliance of Ireland, England, Bulgaria, and Evil Mexico began the Raw after Survivor Series 2015. Sheamus had already attracted King Barrett using his power of bioluminescence, and brought Rusev and Alberto Del Rio under his (dirty, foreign) wing as well. What did these four men have in common that brought them together so quickly? Well, uh, hmmm. They all have accents I guess.
We open on a video package recapping Payback, particularly the results of the Shane/Stephanie debacle and how the main event ended. I appreciate that there is at least for the time being an answer, but this whole thing has gone on much longer than I would have liked. AJ Styles and Roman Reigns’ match for Extreme Rules is also discussed, and there’s more talk about this being a new “era” of WWE, which… well, I’m skeptical about, given the complete lack of any title changes at the pay-per-view, but of course eras are about more than just titles. I’m going to keep an open mind.
So, we start with a recap of the Roman/AJ feud from this week’s RAW – Roman coming in for the save on the Usos, Anderson and Gallows running in after Roman’s match with Del Rio, and AJ taking a superman punch from Roman after he tries to break up their little squabble. I’m frankly still not sure how I’m supposed to be feeling about this feud, because AJ is really selling me on the idea that he doesn’t approve of what Anderson and Gallows are doing but everything seems to be trying to convince me otherwise. Then again, I was embarrassingly wrong about every match prediction I made at Wrestlemania 32, so let’s ignore anything that I say speculatively and focus on what actually happens, shall we?
Hey y’all, this is Jax filling in for our usual Raw wizard Steph, and welcome to Monday Night Raw! Where Shane has once again taken over for mysterious ‘social’ reasons. Personally I think Vince just got lost in a bathroom somewhere about three cities back. We’re in the UK tonight — London, specifically — and there are, of course, a bunch of union jack flags everywhere, in case we didn’t know where we were and get confused easily. Y’know, like Vince.
Oh look, Dean Ambrose has arrived! Let’s see what wacky hijinks he can get into tonight, and by wacky hijinks I mean entirely normal things that commentary paints as wacky because they clearly hate Dean for some reason. I think they’re all just jealous that he’s so roguishly handsome, in a drunken hobo sort of way.
So, there’s been a few things happening this week that we’ll cover later, but let’s jump right into the action with Monday’s show, and we’ll cover the news as we get it!
So Shane O’Mac is leading the ship again, and he’s out to tell us that he’s very happy to be in control again, as nothing matters, and that WrestleMania match was just for funsies. He says he’s going to show us fresh new matches and exciting things, and one of those is Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles.
Super quick round-up today, as last week’s round-up was superceded by WrestleMania! The shows have been pretty damn good this week, so let’s make sure we cover what you missed.
It’s been a long two weeks without our regular dose of kay-fabulous gossip, darlings, and your throats must be simply parched without the sweet, clear, cool water of homosocial dalliances. Never fear, sweethearts, we’re back, and just like those rumours of Triple H’s… sledgehammer, we’re bigger than ever! Double everything is always better, just ask the bottom in a double penetration scene!
So, we’ll start off with what made everyone’s hearts all a-flutter, which was known loverboys Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns giving us a sneak peek of their travel arrangements…
Hellooooo and welcome to Monday Night RAW! Boy, last night was certainly a… night, wasn’t it? I bet a few of us are hung over, whether from partying in celebration or just drinking to forget. As a Dean Ambrose fan, I’ll give you ten guesses where I fall, and the first nine don’t count. Anyway, here we go, Raw time! (Dear Crossfit Jesus, please let this be a good one, thank you and amen.)
Michael Cole insists my WrestleMania hangover doesn’t exist, and he wants us all to party. Byron Saxton calls the fans ‘vocal’ and… good ol’ JBL insists that sometimes we boo who we really want to cheer and cheer who we really want to boo.
That’s the fastest they’ve ever gotten me incredibly angry. I’m almost impressed.