We open Monday night Raw with a small memorial for Mr. Fuji, who passed away this week.
Welcome to Monday night RAW!
Unfortunately, we’re opening on some really unpleasant news – due to Finn Bálor dislocating his shoulder last night at SummerSlam, he is relinquishing his title tonight. Finn is introduced by Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon, and makes his way to the ring with his title over one shoulder and his other arm in a sling. The crowd is still throwing their arms up for him, even though he cannot.
Hey, wrestling fans, it’s another month and it’s time for another lot of PPV predictions! This month it’s SummerSlam, and dear god is it a long one – in total, including pre-show, it’s five hours of wrestling, so without any more preamble, here are my predictions for what goes down at SummerSlam 2016 and why.
We start with a recap of Roman Reigns, sassmonster extreme, and Lana ending up in the cake, screaming that she hates Roman, and that’s how Rusev ended up having a match at SummerSlam for his US title. Then we remember we had Seth telling us that Finn’s all stories, and then Finn told us a bedtime story about demons.
We get a recap of Raw to start us off – Seth vs. Finn, Roman vs. Rusev, and Randy Orton defying the laws of physics with an RKO out of literally nowhere. Then Brock showing up on SmackDown to suplex Orton. God, can you show us something interesting? Apparently DBry is also crossing rosters, with a sit down with Mick Foley tonight. They don’t have time for interviews on SmackDown, it would detract from all the women’s matches they aren’t having.
Raw comes to us live from Detroit tonight, and we’ve already got Instagram-fuelled rumours that Alicia Fox might be back – a woman who isn’t milk pale and/or blonde? Get out of here.
We’re starting with a battle royal for The Miz’s IC title, because apparently that’s the level we’re putting the IC title at. I’m literally agog.
Okay guys, Steph here for Raw tonight, and I apologise if I seem a little bit disappointed in the show, but you have to understand that I just watched WCPW Loaded. Which was BLOODY GOOD and had Noam Dar and Jay Lethal in it. So, after that, tonight might be a bit disappointing. Also, it’s American Day, and I’m probably too British to properly appreciate the patriotism we’re to expect tonight.