ppv · Rehash · Results · wrestlemania

PPV: WrestleMania 33

Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.

We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 5th December ’16 – Austin, Texas

We open with Seth’s music, because the boy has zero chill, and can’t wait five minutes for us to start the show. Yes, hello Mr Extra, we all see you. Seth’s got a mic, and he’s here to talk to us about how he wants Triple H. Seth, he’s married, he’s just not that into you, poppet. Seth says breaking up the Shield taught him about how actions have consequences. He’s a little upset that Daddy’s got some new toys, that’s what I’m getting here. Apparently the Pedigree for Jericho was a message for Triple H. Seth, Christmas cards exist, darling, it’s the season for them, just send him a nice card with a small, cute polar bear in a scarf on it. Seth says he’s got to get Jericho out of the way first, because Kevin uses him, and then once he takes Kevin’s title, that will mean Triple H has to show up.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 14th November ’16 – Buffalo, New York

And we’re back, after a blip to cope with the American election results, despite neither of us being American, with Monday Night Raw! This week we’re coming live from Buffalo, New York, and we’re looking at a line of the Raw participants in Survivor Series this Sunday. They’ve stood Brian Kendrick next to Seth Rollins, and he looks so comically small that it’s like one of those scenes in Lord of the Rings when they take out the perspective tricks and you realise that Ian McKellan and Elijah Wood are sitting at two different tables.

Hell in a Cell · ppv · Rehash · Results

PPV Rehash: Hell in a Cell 2016

Okay, bats and ghouls, let’s do this, on the spookiest night in WWE programming! Fair disclosure, I slept through Hell in a Cell, because I’d slept 16 hours in the past six days, and needed to close my eyes for a bit. Thank you, new meds. So this is being recapped after the fact, and not ignoring that I’ve now had about 24 hours of sleep in the past 7 days, it might be a bit weird. Also, I’m skipping all of the talk on the pre-show, because, well… I can. And because literally, looking at Jerry Lawler in the state I’m in right now might put me over the edge. Renee’s pumpkin sweater, though, I fucking love that.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 10th October 16 – Oakland, California

Welcome to Monday Night Raw, the only wrestling show where the discussion of management’s suits can take longer than a whole two matches! No, my mistake, SmackDown can probably call that their own title as well. This week, Raw comes to us from Oakland, California, and my internet connection comes to us from the very arse of Satan, so we can enjoy some really stuttery wrestling matches and a sweary recapper! It’s all fun and games until someone loses an IP.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 5th September ’16 – Kansas City, Missouri

We start our night with some tweets, and over-excited commentary, all about Triple H rocking up and pedigreeing his son to give Kevin Owens the cursed flesh belt. I know it’s got a real name, I just refuse to call it anything else. We cover the match as a whole, which makes it look like Cass got a lot more offense in than he really did, but we get that gorgeous superplex from Roman as a slow-mo shot, that’s pretty. And then, of course, Triple H shows up for a Pedigree on Roman, giving Seth the chance to eliminate Roman, and we see Trips’ big hand on Seth’s head, like a benediction – but we know how this ends, and that wasn’t a blessing he was giving.