Welcome to SmackDown Live! We open with Renee Young in the ring, introducing Shinsuke Nakamura! I still haven’t gotten over my excitement at Shinsuke being on SmackDown, and he’s showing me exactly why right now.
Well, it’s been a LONG weekend for some of us here at Rasslin Rehash, but we’re finally going to get to the superstar shake-up! Some of this is going to be honest, some of it is going to be sarcastic, and some of it is going to be downright irreverent. Enjoy!
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
What up, guys, it’s Sora and I just woke up from a nap, let’s do this!
I’m a little late cause I have car troubles and I’m only just now able to deal with it, but you’re only missing the Festival of Friendship recap.
Hello, my little kayfabulous delights! What a week we’ve had, my darlings, one can hardly believe it. If you’ve missed any of the gorgeously gay goings-on this week, don’t worry, I’m here to catch you up and spread the love like our pretty boys spread their legs! We’ve got a lot to cram in this week, but don’t worry, we’re good at prepping you first – even though I’m sure you like it a little rough and ready! Well, don’t stand around like a spare prick, lovelies! Let’s get started!
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
Well, thanks to the Rumble and a lot of Progress, I will have watched around fifteen hours of wrestling programming by the time this Raw is over. It’s been a busy couple of days. We’re here tonight in Laredo, Texas, with the WrestleMania sign in full glory. What’s going to happen tonight?