ppv · Rehash · Results · royal rumble

PPV Rehash: Royal Rumble 2017

It’s a tag team tonight! Jess and Steph, back as a team for another dual-brand PPV! This means the six+ hours of wrestling we’re about to endure – sorry, I mean enjoy – won’t be done alone by one of us who wishes desperately that they were asleep or drunk. Jess will take the SmackDown specific matches, Steph the Raw specific ones, and as Jess did the hour long Survivor Series match, it’s Steph’s turn to suffer, so she’s got the Rumble. Let’s do this.

ppv · Predictions · royal rumble

PPV Predictions: Royal Rumble 2017

Ah, the annual ‘throw everyone into the ring and see what happens’ PPV. I’m not feeling too respectful at this point, what with temporary paralysis and it being nearly 5am, so you can enjoy a fairly irreverent attempt at some predictions, if you’d like. Bit more sweary than usual, too, but sod it, it’s early. Without any more ado: the Rumble.

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw 16th January ’17 – Little Rock, Arkansas

Hey guys!  Sora here!  Steph came down with a bad case of concussion, so I’ll be recapping RAW for you this Monday evening.  It’s actually my first RAW in awhile so it’ll be good to catch up (I literally had to google who the tag team champs were…).  This will be a bit of an abridged recap, as I don’t know the names of all the moves like Steph (honestly, she’s fucking incredible, I don’t know how she learned them all so quickly), but I will be as thorough as I can possibly be and, hey, I’ll even throw in some art to make it worth your while.  

Strap in folks, cause if I remember RAW, it’s gonna be a long ride.  

ppv · Rehash · Results · roadblock

PPV Rehash: Roadblock End of the Line 2016

Time for the second Roadblock of the year, this one with a subtitle like it’s a video game sequel and we’re all just supposed to pretend the first one didn’t happen. Okay, we’ll go with it, it’s not like I needed to sleep or anything, I guess. Joining me on commentary is a small black cat, who is asleep with her nose pressed to her bottom, which is rather like what our WWE commentary team do for Vince. Let’s enjoy.

ppv · Predictions · roadblock

PPV Predictions: Roadblock End of the Line 2016

Just how out of ideas do WWE need to be in order to have two events with the same name only nine months apart? Isn’t this the equivalent of having one kid, naming it Bob, then naming the second kid Bob 2 when it pops out? Okay, sure, the last Roadblock was a network special, and not a PPV, but still. Someone up in creative needs to look up what creative means, methinks. Also, the last time we had this title, it sort of made sense. We were on the ‘road to WrestleMania’ – whatever that means, other than HYPE – and this was a block in the way. What’s this PPV blocking, WWE, my ability to sleep like an actual human being?

raw · Rehash

Rehash: Raw, 12th December ’16 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Well, I’m here, only 45mins late for Raw, but you’ve got to forgive someone who’s spent their day being gently drowned by children for what they call ‘fun week’, which is only fun if you’re less than four foot high and like leaping on your teacher simply because she’s in the water for once. I’m not bitter, but I am cold, exhausted, and it’s only the first day of the week, so allow me to approach Raw with the same due sense of exhaustion and dread with which I do work.

Oh, fuck me, it is Roadblock on Sunday? Oh Christ. Drown me, I take it all back. Raw comes to us this week from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, two words I can’t spell at 2am without Wikipedia. I will do basic catch up work, and then we’ll start from whatever happened at 1.45am. Good grief, I’m shattered.