Welcome to SmackDown Live! Coming to us tonight from Newark, New Jersey, we open the show with… James Ellsworth. I’m so glad that such top talent is opening the show. We briefly recap the events of last week, where Ellsworth hit No Chin Music on AJ Styles and then broke down as he realized that he so gravely disappointed Dean Ambrose.
Well, I’m joining us a little late to the kickoff show, and it’s Tom Philips back in the social media lounge, talking about talking to Rusev and Lana tonight. He looks a little less like a small boy who’s made a studio in his bedroom. Apparently it’s cool to have Dean’s girlfriend talk about what a lunatic he is. And I’m joined by a small black cat and my very, very unimpressed wife, who thinks Dean Ambrose looks like mashed potato, and thinks Mitch is a stupid name for a plant. She doesn’t know the struggles we’ve seen. Her only comment on ‘it’s the gift of Jericho, drink it in’ is ‘gaaaaaaay’. That’s the woman I love.
Well, here we are again! I’ve clambered out of bed after my pre-Raw nap, kissed my wife and apologised for making her the sort of woman who sleeps alone on a Monday or Thursday night, and we’re back to the daily grind. Let’s go.