Well, it’s been a LONG weekend for some of us here at Rasslin Rehash, but we’re finally going to get to the superstar shake-up! Some of this is going to be honest, some of it is going to be sarcastic, and some of it is going to be downright irreverent. Enjoy!
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
What up, guys, it’s Sora and I just woke up from a nap, let’s do this!
I’m a little late cause I have car troubles and I’m only just now able to deal with it, but you’re only missing the Festival of Friendship recap.
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
Well, thanks to the Rumble and a lot of Progress, I will have watched around fifteen hours of wrestling programming by the time this Raw is over. It’s been a busy couple of days. We’re here tonight in Laredo, Texas, with the WrestleMania sign in full glory. What’s going to happen tonight?
It’s a tag team tonight! Jess and Steph, back as a team for another dual-brand PPV! This means the six+ hours of wrestling we’re about to endure – sorry, I mean enjoy – won’t be done alone by one of us who wishes desperately that they were asleep or drunk. Jess will take the SmackDown specific matches, Steph the Raw specific ones, and as Jess did the hour long Survivor Series match, it’s Steph’s turn to suffer, so she’s got the Rumble. Let’s do this.
Hey everyone! Sora filling in for Steph again because I love RAW that much. Let’s get this over with.
We open with a JeriKO package that reminds me of circa 2000s shipping AMVs. It shows Jericho and KO beating Roman for the US championship title because teamwork makes the dream work.