Okay guys, Steph here for Raw tonight, and I apologise if I seem a little bit disappointed in the show, but you have to understand that I just watched WCPW Loaded. Which was BLOODY GOOD and had Noam Dar and Jay Lethal in it. So, after that, tonight might be a bit disappointing. Also, it’s American Day, and I’m probably too British to properly appreciate the patriotism we’re to expect tonight.
Welcome to the Sunday Round-Up! A lot of action in the ring this week, not so much behind the scenes. Well, not every week can have everything!
Chris Jericho vs. Cesaro – Cesaro wins by submission with the Sharpshooter.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger – Rusev wins by count-out.
The Vaudevillains vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass – Vaudevillains win by disqualification, as Big Cass loses it and beats on Simon Gotch aggressively in the corner.
Sami Zayn vs. Alberto del Rio – Alberto del Rio wins by pinfall.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens – Dean Ambrose wins by pinfall.
Okay guys, it’s Steph back with the Raw recap! I quite enjoyed live tweeting last week, but now it’s back to the grind. I hope there’s a FaBreeze match, I’m living for their cuddling right now. We start off with five of the six entrants (are we ignoring that there’s meant to be a seventh?) into the MitB ladder match, and Dean ambling down to the ring, late as always. KO says that Lilian doesn’t need to announce them, other than Sami, because they’re all famous men, Jericho says he’s the most famous, and KO interrupts again. Kevin says he’s going to win, putting everyone else in his shadow.
The New Day vs. The Vaudevillains – the unicorns win by disqualification due to interference from Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson.
Breezango vs. The Usos – The Usos win.
Rusev vs. Zack Ryder – Rusev wins.
Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. The Dudley Boyz – Enzo & Big Cass win.
Natalya vs. Dana Brooke – Dana Brooke wins.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin – Ziggler is disqualified due to a low blow, but comes out looking pretty great.
Dean Ambrose, Sami Zayn & Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho & Alberto del Rio – Dean, Sami and Cesaro take the win.
We open the program with a recap of John Cena’s return to Monday Night RAW and the very exciting heel turn of AJ Styles. I have had many doubts about how AJ’s story has been progressing, but watching him, Gallows and Anderson beating the hell out of Cena just made me happy inside in a way I can’t explain. I won’t try. Just know that it’s true.
Once the show starts proper…
IT’S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS.
The unlikely alliance of Ireland, England, Bulgaria, and Evil Mexico began the Raw after Survivor Series 2015. Sheamus had already attracted King Barrett using his power of bioluminescence, and brought Rusev and Alberto Del Rio under his (dirty, foreign) wing as well. What did these four men have in common that brought them together so quickly? Well, uh, hmmm. They all have accents I guess.
Welcome, everybody, and– oh shit, UNDERTAKER GONG. This is certainly the right way to start the go home Raw, innit? Anyway, this is Jax filling in for Steph tonight, and excuse me while I mark the hell out because UNDERTAKER, MY UNDEAD LIGHTNING WIZARD WRASSLIN DAD. Also excuse my sloppiness, as I am definitely not used to recapping a live three-hour show. I don’t know how Steph does it. Secretly, I think she is also a wizard.
Without further ado, the results of the Roadblock 2016 Network Special – it was a bumpy ride. First they said it would be two and a half hours, then lengthened that to three hours, but in the end it was two and a half, with actually very little time wasted. Quite impressive what they can… Continue reading Results: Roadblock 2016
Well, tonight we watch Dean Ambrose die for our sins. As my wife, who names all wrestlers after foodstuffs says, “Tonight, mashed potato is gonna get creamed.” Art, as always, by our own Sora. We’ve been told this is two and a half hours, and then we were told it would be three hours like a… Continue reading Rehash: Roadblock 2016
Kick Off Match: Darren Young and Damien Sandow vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) vs. The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) vs. Mark Henry and Jack Swagger So this kick-off match is for two spaces in the Royal Rumble (really, we’ve got enough roster left that people can fight over spaces?),… Continue reading Predictions: Royal Rumble 2016