Welcome to SmackDown Live! We start with the customary recap of the important events of Elimination Chamber – American Alpha retained the tag-team championship, but Naomi is our new women’s champion and Bray Wyatt is our new world champion.
Kicking off the SmackDown-exclusive year, it’s a gimmick we haven’t seen for a little while. Oh yes, WWE World Champion John Cena is defending against five other superstars in the elimination chamber, with a fairly stacked card to back it up. So without further ado, let’s see what we’re looking at this year!
Welcome to SmackDown Live! Coming to you from Seattle, Washington, we open the show with a video package about the long-lived Randy Orton/John Cena story. I’m still hopeful that they’re giving us this match tonight because we’re not getting it come WrestleMania, but I have to wait for Elimination Chamber for that.
Welcome to SmackDown Live! Coming to you from Corpus Christi, Texas, we open with a retrospective on Sunday Night’s Royal Rumble. We’re officially on the road to WrestleMania now, folks. It was a big night for SmackDown superstars, with Randy Orton taking the Rumble and Cena becoming a 16 time champion in a great match against AJ Styles.
It’s a tag team tonight! Jess and Steph, back as a team for another dual-brand PPV! This means the six+ hours of wrestling we’re about to endure – sorry, I mean enjoy – won’t be done alone by one of us who wishes desperately that they were asleep or drunk. Jess will take the SmackDown specific matches, Steph the Raw specific ones, and as Jess did the hour long Survivor Series match, it’s Steph’s turn to suffer, so she’s got the Rumble. Let’s do this.
Ah, the annual ‘throw everyone into the ring and see what happens’ PPV. I’m not feeling too respectful at this point, what with temporary paralysis and it being nearly 5am, so you can enjoy a fairly irreverent attempt at some predictions, if you’d like. Bit more sweary than usual, too, but sod it, it’s early. Without any more ado: the Rumble.
Well, happy new year, dearest, dirty little darlings! I know it’s a trying time for all of us at the moment, what with certain governmental nonsense, but sweethearts, if the world of wrestling is good for nothing else, it’s at least good for giving us gorgeous piles of man to drool over, right? I mean, um… emotional connections, storytelling, spots – oh, who am I kidding? We all know why we’re here! Here’s our update on what’s been happening the last few weeks, while we’ve all been too distracted by political thoughts. Don’t look, darlings, it’s all terribly upsetting. Instead, let me update you on the love lives of our boys of WWE.
Well, this is a turn up for the books! I haven’t done a SmackDown for a looong time, and now I get to do one with a concussion. Before the show starts, we get a reminder that we’re making history with the first ever SmackDown women’s cage match! As we arrive in Memphis, we’re greeted by commentary – oh, THAT’S where Tom Phillips went – and then Shane O’Mac. He tries to get us hyped for the Royal Rumble, and it’s interesting to note that boos are loudest for Braun Strowman, Brock Lesnar, Miz and Baron Corbin, but loudest for Dean.
Hey guys! Sora here! Steph came down with a bad case of concussion, so I’ll be recapping RAW for you this Monday evening. It’s actually my first RAW in awhile so it’ll be good to catch up (I literally had to google who the tag team champs were…). This will be a bit of an abridged recap, as I don’t know the names of all the moves like Steph (honestly, she’s fucking incredible, I don’t know how she learned them all so quickly), but I will be as thorough as I can possibly be and, hey, I’ll even throw in some art to make it worth your while.
Strap in folks, cause if I remember RAW, it’s gonna be a long ride.
Hello and welcome to SmackDown Live! Unfortunately, I have two and a half days off work and my body has decided to respond by making me ill, so there’s every chance that I’ll be a little extra critical of events tonight.