Well, here we are, my first Raw since WrestleMania, because I’ve been gallivanting around being terribly ill, and then cuddling pretty UK wrestlers at Fight Club: Pro on Friday! So we’re off to a good start, with a recap of Braun Strowman murdering Roman Reigns last week, overturning an ambulance and everything to make sure the Big Dog was well and truly buried. But it’s okay, because, due to beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania, Roman has his gimmick now, and therefore can’t die. It’s perfect.
Well, it’s been a LONG weekend for some of us here at Rasslin Rehash, but we’re finally going to get to the superstar shake-up! Some of this is going to be honest, some of it is going to be sarcastic, and some of it is going to be downright irreverent. Enjoy!
Welcome to the post-Mania SmackDown!
I’m coming in late on this one because of some problems with traffic on my way home from work but if I know anything about WWE it’s that they will catch me up with a replay later on.
Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.
We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.
Well, as Kenji said last year, it’s time for the annual lowering of standards that comes with WrestleMania. That said, I’m incredibly jealous of anyone in Orlando right now, because all the shows that are going on look INCREDIBLE, and loads of my BritWres faves are there as well.
We open this week with a recap of the previous week’s events; AJ Styles lost the number one contendership to Randy Orton, then confronted Shane McMahon over how absurd the whole thing was. Which, he’s not really wrong.
Welcome to this week’s SmackDown Live! We open this week with Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan rewatching the end of the battle royal, still unable to determine who the proper winner was. They’re going ahead with the match between AJ Styles and Luke Harper tonight, which AJ is not thrilled with, complaining that Harper smells like a toenail and looks like the clump of hair you pull out of a shower drain. Of course, Harper is standing right behind him and the two have a staredown before we cut to the opening theme.
I see a lot of people talk about how ‘the tumblr fangirls’ are all bad, and ruining wrestling for the rest of us. I meet a lot of female fans who tell me that they’ve written or read fic, but would die of embarrassment if the male fans they go to shows with, or the wrestlers they know, knew about it. I traded fic like we were trading state secrets with a woman recently, who said she’d never hear the end of it from her show-buddies if they knew. I hear a lot about how sending wrestlers your artwork of them is fine, but sending them your fic is gross and vile – and I’m not talking about pornographic epics, here, I’m talking about friendships or character fics. And it sort of pisses me off.
Hello and welcome to SmackDown Live again! We open with a recap of Bray Wyatt winning the Championship, then defending against AJ Styles and John Cena last week. Orton went down on one knee, and the filter they put on his voice for this replay makes him sound like Bray’s robot servant. Still, there’s a battle royal coming up tonight to determine a new contender to face Bray Wyatt at WrestleMania.
Hello, my little kayfabulous delights! What a week we’ve had, my darlings, one can hardly believe it. If you’ve missed any of the gorgeously gay goings-on this week, don’t worry, I’m here to catch you up and spread the love like our pretty boys spread their legs! We’ve got a lot to cram in this week, but don’t worry, we’re good at prepping you first – even though I’m sure you like it a little rough and ready! Well, don’t stand around like a spare prick, lovelies! Let’s get started!