Well, here we are, my first Raw since WrestleMania, because I’ve been gallivanting around being terribly ill, and then cuddling pretty UK wrestlers at Fight Club: Pro on Friday! So we’re off to a good start, with a recap of Braun Strowman murdering Roman Reigns last week, overturning an ambulance and everything to make sure the Big Dog was well and truly buried. But it’s okay, because, due to beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania, Roman has his gimmick now, and therefore can’t die. It’s perfect.
It’s the day after WrestleMania 33 and that can only mean one thing: obnoxious crowds trying to take over the show. That’s right, it’s the annual Raw After Mania! I’m Robyn and I’ll be filling in as recapper tonight.
It’s that time again! It’s Raw! So, we start with a recap of last week, where Mick Foley tried to fire Stephanie McMahon, because of course he did, and then Triple H turned up to call him a pathetic has-been. And then the claw, and the low blow from Steph. And then Seth, throwing his crutch aside, and smack Trips around, before Trips ruins his knee again, for funsies. Also, shirtless Triple H holding onto Seth as he writhes in pain. I’d say that’s a kink I didn’t know I had, but let’s be honest here, I think we all knew I had it.
We may be on the road to WrestleMania, but god help me I will turn this car around. Sora covers Raw from March 13th, in Detroit, Michigan.
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
Ah, the Boxing Day Raw, proof that Vince McMahon has heard of the holidays, and this mythical thing called ‘time off’, and has decided that he doesn’t want any, thank you very much. Which is pretty much how I feel about all the misogyny in his product, but as I’m not a billionaire, that probably doesn’t matter.
Raw comes to you tonight, live from Charlotte, North Carolina, the city Charlotte Flair was born in. I get my stream working five minutes in, so we start without the usual guff and bluster about what happened last week. Which is a shame, as I didn’t cover last week, and could have done with the refresher course.
Well, we’re told that tonight, fantasy warfare gets real. Got to say, my idea of fantasy warfare doesn’t start with a two hour pre-show, but I’ve got a cup of tea in my hand, so I guess that’s some sort of English fantasy right there. Personally, my idea of fantasy when it comes to wrestling involves Seth Rollins doing Charlotte Flair’s entrance, complete with splits. It’s just a thing.
And we’re back, after a blip to cope with the American election results, despite neither of us being American, with Monday Night Raw! This week we’re coming live from Buffalo, New York, and we’re looking at a line of the Raw participants in Survivor Series this Sunday. They’ve stood Brian Kendrick next to Seth Rollins, and he looks so comically small that it’s like one of those scenes in Lord of the Rings when they take out the perspective tricks and you realise that Ian McKellan and Elijah Wood are sitting at two different tables.