Hello and welcome to Elimination Chamber! It’s the last SmackDown Live PPV before WrestleMania, as Renee Young reminds us, so it’s an important show. When we cut to the panel, I’m immediately confused; we’ve got Renee, Booker T, Sam Roberts and Carmella. It’s an interesting and unexpected combination of experts, but we cut almost immediately to the social media lounge with Dasha Fuentes, so I have little time to wonder too much about it. Now, instead, I’m pleasantly surprised that they actually lead with her name, so I don’t have to fret that I’m getting it wrong.
Raw comes to you tonight, live from Charlotte, North Carolina, the city Charlotte Flair was born in. I get my stream working five minutes in, so we start without the usual guff and bluster about what happened last week. Which is a shame, as I didn’t cover last week, and could have done with the refresher course.
Welcome to Monday Night Raw, the only wrestling show where the discussion of management’s suits can take longer than a whole two matches! No, my mistake, SmackDown can probably call that their own title as well. This week, Raw comes to us from Oakland, California, and my internet connection comes to us from the very arse of Satan, so we can enjoy some really stuttery wrestling matches and a sweary recapper! It’s all fun and games until someone loses an IP.
We start our night with some tweets, and over-excited commentary, all about Triple H rocking up and pedigreeing his son to give Kevin Owens the cursed flesh belt. I know it’s got a real name, I just refuse to call it anything else. We cover the match as a whole, which makes it look like Cass got a lot more offense in than he really did, but we get that gorgeous superplex from Roman as a slow-mo shot, that’s pretty. And then, of course, Triple H shows up for a Pedigree on Roman, giving Seth the chance to eliminate Roman, and we see Trips’ big hand on Seth’s head, like a benediction – but we know how this ends, and that wasn’t a blessing he was giving.
Well, here we are again! I’ve clambered out of bed after my pre-Raw nap, kissed my wife and apologised for making her the sort of woman who sleeps alone on a Monday or Thursday night, and we’re back to the daily grind. Let’s go.
Apologies for the delay, my darlings, and this one will be a short session, as I appear to be feeling distinctly unfabulous this week. I can’t think what is happening, but we shall be sure to remedy it for next week. Without further ado – Gaywatch!
Well, we open Raw with a recap of the AJ/Roman feud, with lots of slow-motion footage, and Roman looking bored next to the title, and I still think Roman should have eaten the pin from AJ to end that match, but ah well. Apparently creative think Roman’s at his most attractive to us when he’s just smacking the hell out of people for barely discussed reasons. I’m not entirely sure they’re wrong, honestly.
The first thing that we address is that the main event is going to be a tag-team match, pitting the Usos against Gallows and Anderson. The second thing is that Jericho’s music hits and we’re opening with an episode of the Highlight Reel and a recap of what happened with the Ambrose Asylum on Monday Night RAW.
We open on a video package recapping Payback, particularly the results of the Shane/Stephanie debacle and how the main event ended. I appreciate that there is at least for the time being an answer, but this whole thing has gone on much longer than I would have liked. AJ Styles and Roman Reigns’ match for Extreme Rules is also discussed, and there’s more talk about this being a new “era” of WWE, which… well, I’m skeptical about, given the complete lack of any title changes at the pay-per-view, but of course eras are about more than just titles. I’m going to keep an open mind.
Baron Corbin Vs. Dolph Ziggler Result: Ziggler wins, after making Corbin look like a beast Kalisto Vs. Ryback – United States Championship Match Result: Kalisto retains Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady Vs. The Vaudevillains – #1 Contender Tag Team Tournament Result: Match called off due to an injury to Enzo Amore. Later informed he has… Continue reading PPV Results: Payback 2016