Welcome to SmackDown Live! We open with Renee Young in the ring, introducing Shinsuke Nakamura! I still haven’t gotten over my excitement at Shinsuke being on SmackDown, and he’s showing me exactly why right now.
Well, it’s been a LONG weekend for some of us here at Rasslin Rehash, but we’re finally going to get to the superstar shake-up! Some of this is going to be honest, some of it is going to be sarcastic, and some of it is going to be downright irreverent. Enjoy!
It’s the day after WrestleMania 33 and that can only mean one thing: obnoxious crowds trying to take over the show. That’s right, it’s the annual Raw After Mania! I’m Robyn and I’ll be filling in as recapper tonight.
Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.
We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.
It’s that time again! It’s Raw! So, we start with a recap of last week, where Mick Foley tried to fire Stephanie McMahon, because of course he did, and then Triple H turned up to call him a pathetic has-been. And then the claw, and the low blow from Steph. And then Seth, throwing his crutch aside, and smack Trips around, before Trips ruins his knee again, for funsies. Also, shirtless Triple H holding onto Seth as he writhes in pain. I’d say that’s a kink I didn’t know I had, but let’s be honest here, I think we all knew I had it.
We may be on the road to WrestleMania, but god help me I will turn this car around. Sora covers Raw from March 13th, in Detroit, Michigan.
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
What up, guys, it’s Sora and I just woke up from a nap, let’s do this!
I’m a little late cause I have car troubles and I’m only just now able to deal with it, but you’re only missing the Festival of Friendship recap.
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
It’s a tag team tonight! Jess and Steph, back as a team for another dual-brand PPV! This means the six+ hours of wrestling we’re about to endure – sorry, I mean enjoy – won’t be done alone by one of us who wishes desperately that they were asleep or drunk. Jess will take the SmackDown specific matches, Steph the Raw specific ones, and as Jess did the hour long Survivor Series match, it’s Steph’s turn to suffer, so she’s got the Rumble. Let’s do this.