It’s that time again! It’s Raw! So, we start with a recap of last week, where Mick Foley tried to fire Stephanie McMahon, because of course he did, and then Triple H turned up to call him a pathetic has-been. And then the claw, and the low blow from Steph. And then Seth, throwing his crutch aside, and smack Trips around, before Trips ruins his knee again, for funsies. Also, shirtless Triple H holding onto Seth as he writhes in pain. I’d say that’s a kink I didn’t know I had, but let’s be honest here, I think we all knew I had it.
We may be on the road to WrestleMania, but god help me I will turn this car around. Sora covers Raw from March 13th, in Detroit, Michigan.
Welcome one and all to Fastlane, the PPV pay-per-view we get before WrestleMania, so everyone take those standards and adjust them! I’m grumpy, because my internet is going up and down like a tape of Neville played on fast-forward and then rewind.
It’s that time of year again, where we’re dangerously close to WrestleMania, and we start to get the weird matches that are leading up to that. Let’s see what the predictions are for this Sunday!
What up, guys, it’s Sora and I just woke up from a nap, let’s do this!
I’m a little late cause I have car troubles and I’m only just now able to deal with it, but you’re only missing the Festival of Friendship recap.
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
Hey guys! Sora here! Steph came down with a bad case of concussion, so I’ll be recapping RAW for you this Monday evening. It’s actually my first RAW in awhile so it’ll be good to catch up (I literally had to google who the tag team champs were…). This will be a bit of an abridged recap, as I don’t know the names of all the moves like Steph (honestly, she’s fucking incredible, I don’t know how she learned them all so quickly), but I will be as thorough as I can possibly be and, hey, I’ll even throw in some art to make it worth your while.
Strap in folks, cause if I remember RAW, it’s gonna be a long ride.
We’re all decorated for Christmas around the ring, which obviously means someone’s being thrown into presents, which I have to say has always been my favourite part of the festive season. You mean you don’t suplex your family into a pile of gifts on Christmas morning? Weird.
Time for the second Roadblock of the year, this one with a subtitle like it’s a video game sequel and we’re all just supposed to pretend the first one didn’t happen. Okay, we’ll go with it, it’s not like I needed to sleep or anything, I guess. Joining me on commentary is a small black cat, who is asleep with her nose pressed to her bottom, which is rather like what our WWE commentary team do for Vince. Let’s enjoy.
Just how out of ideas do WWE need to be in order to have two events with the same name only nine months apart? Isn’t this the equivalent of having one kid, naming it Bob, then naming the second kid Bob 2 when it pops out? Okay, sure, the last Roadblock was a network special, and not a PPV, but still. Someone up in creative needs to look up what creative means, methinks. Also, the last time we had this title, it sort of made sense. We were on the ‘road to WrestleMania’ – whatever that means, other than HYPE – and this was a block in the way. What’s this PPV blocking, WWE, my ability to sleep like an actual human being?