Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.
We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.
It’s Steph here, ready to recap raw, and it’s the Valentine’s Day Raw! Well, it’s the 13th for them, but the 14th for me, so we’ll see how we’re going to play this. I’ve been promised Emmalina, so if she doesn’t show up, Valentine’s Day is cancelled. We’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a festival of friendship, a women’s title match, and that guy with the ‘Leonard’ sign who was at Elimination Chamber last night. I’ve left my wife in bed, so I’m having Valentine’s Day with all of you lovely people, instead.
Ah, the Boxing Day Raw, proof that Vince McMahon has heard of the holidays, and this mythical thing called ‘time off’, and has decided that he doesn’t want any, thank you very much. Which is pretty much how I feel about all the misogyny in his product, but as I’m not a billionaire, that probably doesn’t matter.
We’re all decorated for Christmas around the ring, which obviously means someone’s being thrown into presents, which I have to say has always been my favourite part of the festive season. You mean you don’t suplex your family into a pile of gifts on Christmas morning? Weird.
And we’re back, after a blip to cope with the American election results, despite neither of us being American, with Monday Night Raw! This week we’re coming live from Buffalo, New York, and we’re looking at a line of the Raw participants in Survivor Series this Sunday. They’ve stood Brian Kendrick next to Seth Rollins, and he looks so comically small that it’s like one of those scenes in Lord of the Rings when they take out the perspective tricks and you realise that Ian McKellan and Elijah Wood are sitting at two different tables.
Welcome to Monday Night Raw! After that amazing and historic pay-per-view last night, we open this Halloween edition of RAW with Goldberg making his way to the ring. These things aren’t related. I was just hoping something would be.
Once more, Monday rolls around, and this is our last show before Hell in a Cell this weekend – reminder to self, get some sleep before the weekend – so no doubt very little is actually going to happen, and we’re mostly going to be looking at the matches to come at the PPV. Raw comes to us from Minneapolis, Minnesota, two places I can’t spell.
I know I’ve been a bit absent with the round-ups of late, but let’s get stuck into today!
It’s that time again! Monday Night Raw comes to us from Denver, Colorado, and I’ll be adding interjections throughout from our very own Survive, who was actually in the building last night! So we’ve got a bit more of an idea as to what’s going on and how excited everyone is, for once.
Welcome to Monday Night Raw, the only wrestling show where the discussion of management’s suits can take longer than a whole two matches! No, my mistake, SmackDown can probably call that their own title as well. This week, Raw comes to us from Oakland, California, and my internet connection comes to us from the very arse of Satan, so we can enjoy some really stuttery wrestling matches and a sweary recapper! It’s all fun and games until someone loses an IP.