ppv · Rehash · Results · wrestlemania

PPV: WrestleMania 33

Well, bugger me, it’s WrestleMania! And this year, neither of our recappers is in hospital! Hooray! So, for this, Jess will be taking the SmackDown matches, Steph has the Raw matches, and we’ve tossed a coin for the battle royal, which Jess lost. Hah.

We’re doing minimal recap of the pre-show, because Jerry Lawler is on it, and if we have to recap two hours of Jerry Lawler, someone’s going to die. So we’ll cover the matches, but otherwise, we’ll leave it alone.

ppv · Rehash · wrestlemania

Rehash: WrestleMania 32

We start out tonight’s show, the greatest WWE show of the entire year, with… Fifth Harmony dressed in red curtains, singing “America The Beautiful.” On one hand, this is perhaps the most boring of all-American songs we’ve got. On the other hand, this is Texas, and I’m just glad we didn’t get a few hundred guns going off while this was being warbled nigh-incoherently. The intro video we get after this is… well… it’s good! But I’m biased, because anything slow-motion involving a shot of the Undertaker is something I’m going to give five stars to regardless. Also: Kelsey Grammar is narrating it.

Tonight, we’re reminded — over the sounds of Fort Minor’s “Remember The Name,” no less — that we’ve got Vince’s son, Vince’s son-in-law, and Vince’s chosen one to look forward to. Oh, and some other people.

Welcome to WrestleMania 32, y’all!