Time for the second Roadblock of the year, this one with a subtitle like it’s a video game sequel and we’re all just supposed to pretend the first one didn’t happen. Okay, we’ll go with it, it’s not like I needed to sleep or anything, I guess. Joining me on commentary is a small black cat, who is asleep with her nose pressed to her bottom, which is rather like what our WWE commentary team do for Vince. Let’s enjoy.
Just how out of ideas do WWE need to be in order to have two events with the same name only nine months apart? Isn’t this the equivalent of having one kid, naming it Bob, then naming the second kid Bob 2 when it pops out? Okay, sure, the last Roadblock was a network special, and not a PPV, but still. Someone up in creative needs to look up what creative means, methinks. Also, the last time we had this title, it sort of made sense. We were on the ‘road to WrestleMania’ – whatever that means, other than HYPE – and this was a block in the way. What’s this PPV blocking, WWE, my ability to sleep like an actual human being?
Without further ado, the results of the Roadblock 2016 Network Special – it was a bumpy ride. First they said it would be two and a half hours, then lengthened that to three hours, but in the end it was two and a half, with actually very little time wasted. Quite impressive what they can do when they don’t fill the space with ads all the time. Seven matches, which is pretty impressive.
Well, tonight we watch Dean Ambrose die for our sins. As my wife, who names all wrestlers after foodstuffs says, “Tonight, mashed potato is gonna get creamed.” Art, as always, by our own Sora.
We’ve been told this is two and a half hours, and then we were told it would be three hours like a standard PPV, but I guess we’ll see how it goes. Three titles (at least!) on the line tonight, so it’ll either shake things up, or everything will stay as it was. We’ll see how I feel at the end of the night.
We open with The New Day welcoming us to Toronto with the power of positivity. My network pauses, which absolutely stops me being positive, but there you go. They reveal a box of Booty-O’s cereal, and Daddy Xavier addresses child Big E. They take pops at Del Rio, Barrett and Sheamus, but apparently they couldn’t think of anything for Rusev.
Things all looked peaceful on the road to WrestleMania, when all of a sudden – ROADBLOCK. We’re meant to believe this is in the form of Dean Ambrose showing up and daring to challenge Triple H for the heavyweight title, but I think it’s really that the writers have realised they have no set up for the matches at WrestleMania, and need some story time.