This week, Sora talks to us about the Old Gods returning, the seas of blood, plagues of locusts, and all the ways in which the world ended. In WWE, however, no one noticed any of this, even when an Elder Being appeared in the ring, surprising even his wife.
Sora gives us another week of magic and wonder, starting with Seth Rollins’ inept summoning skills, and sorting out whether Triple H really exists or not!
Sora gives us another week of storyline kerfuffle – what a week it’s been!
Sora gives us a little round-up of all our kayfabe goings on, including Roman Reigns’ magical eye-colour, whether anyone’s let Big Cass know he’s playing second fiddle to Sasha, and how Randy Orton managed to cross rosters without being hit by a fine.
You know what I’m thankful for each and every Fourth of July? John Cena. He was there two-hundred and forty years ago fighting for our freedom, putting every Brit he came across into the Attitude Adjustment, singlehandedly pinning King George III, guaranteeing our freedom for a thousand years.
First Triple H and now Double R. The rate that wrestlers are disappearing as soon as they lose the title is staggering. Luckily for you, here on Kayfabe Korner we have the theories WWE is scared to admit are true or even valid.
Okay. Strap in your seat belts kids, it’s gonna be a long and winding road.
Where is Triple H (Hunter Hearst Helmsley, for short)?. Why isn’t Stephanie McMahon more concerned over the disappearance of her husband? One could argue that Stephanie is powering through her grief to co run RAW and SmackDown with her brother. One could also argue that she and Shane teamed up and got rid of Hunter for good. One could argue that Triple H is merely running the NXT Developmental roster, but we don’t humor outlandish conspiracy theories like that here on Kayfabe Korner.
Chris Jericho. Drink him in. Man, I bet his girlfriend’s tired of hearing that. He single-handedly saved us from Y2K (for all you younglings out there, that was when all the computers were gonna rise up and kill us on 12 am on January 1st, 2000. It was a spectacular battle that ended when Jericho put the Mainframe into the Walls of Jericho). He is the greatest at what he does. What he does exactly is up to interpretation. Wrestler? Talk show host? Dad fashion? Who knows. But he’s the best at it. He’s had the WWE Championship Belt countless times. So many times Wikipedia won’t give me a solid answer when I try to look it up. Amazing.
Vince McMahon, the head of WWE (the King, or God’s Chosen Emperor, if you will), is the patriarch of all he surveys. We are all his puppets, and we dance at his bidding. Nothing the WWE Universe does is done without Vince behind the scenes, pulling the strings. We boo at his command, cheer for CM Punk at his command.
The unlikely alliance of Ireland, England, Bulgaria, and Evil Mexico began the Raw after Survivor Series 2015. Sheamus had already attracted King Barrett using his power of bioluminescence, and brought Rusev and Alberto Del Rio under his (dirty, foreign) wing as well. What did these four men have in common that brought them together so quickly? Well, uh, hmmm. They all have accents I guess.