NXT starts off with a small video package announcing the Revival vs. American Alpha in a 2-out-of-3 falls match for the NXT tag titles. As I was last week, I’m excited and nervous – excited because that’s gonna be one hell of a match, nervous because I’m gonna have to recap it.
And we are off, straight into a women’s match!
MATCH: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss
I love Bayley’s entrance music, it’s so nice and bouncy. We get to see Full Sail clapping along to Bayley’s entrance as Tom reminds us that she’s recently medically cleared after the match with Nia Jax. Corey reminds us that the woman still holding the title is Asuka, who defeated Bayley for it at TakeOver: Dallas.
Alexa comes out with a new outfit – it’s a miracle! And they kept the red, black and white color scheme which works so well for her. While it’s not the best thing to come out of her break up with Blake and Murphy, it’s still pretty damn good.
- The two ladies lock up, Bayley immediately getting Alexa in a wrist lock. She drops Alexa to the ground, then bounces off the ropes to knock Alexa back down, before going it and doing it from the opposite side.
- Alexa gets Bayley between the bottom and middle ropes, slingshotting her into the middle rope. She attempts a cover, but Bayley kicks out.
- Alexa gets Bayley into a headlock and mocks her with the “Let’s go, Bayley!” chant. Bayley starts to get up in time with Full Sail’s clapping, but Alexa spins her around and brings her to the ground again.
- Alexa tosses Bayley to the ground and attempts a pin. Bayley kicks out at two.
- Alexa grabs Bayley by the hair, drags her to the ropes and starts shoving her head/neck into the ropes using her knee.
- Alexa pulls Bayley back into the middle of the ring. Attempts a pin. Bayley kicks out at once.
- Alexa is dominating the match. She’s throwing Bayley into the ropes and she did a move where she stood on Bayley’s back and shoved her head into the mat repeatedly with her foot.
- Bayley is fighting back! She catches Alexa’s foot mid-kick and does a buckle bomb! Full Sail is chanting “Bayley!” as she charges into Alexa in the turnbuckle. Next she does a running knee, then moves Alexa into the next corner. She charges into Alexa again, then rolls out to do a running shoulder.
- She hauls Alexa back to the other turnbuckle, but Alexa ducks out before Bayley connects. Bayley comes back up straight into a brutal punch from Alexa. We cut to an ad for WWE 2K17 as Tom says that “Bayley may be out in the corner.”
- But apparently not out enough. We come back to Alexa absolutely mauling Bayley in the middle of the ring. She abuses Bayley’s arm using the bottom rope and sets up for the slingshot move from before, but Bayley fights out and Alexa bounces off the ropes instead.
- Absolutely enraged, Alexa charges back and instead gets dropped out of the ropes. Bayley pulls her head through the middle and top ropes, then drops down.
- Alexa is pissed. Alexa is so pissed. She catches Bayley and knocks her down, then does Insult to Injury.
- She flattens Bayley and attempts Twisted Bliss from the turnbuckle, but Bayley gets up and climbs onto the turnbuckle with her.
- Alexa does a sunset flip into a pin, but Bayley kicks out at two.
- Alexa is throwing a temper tantrum. Flailing and kicking and flailing and shrieking.
- Bayley and Alexa are now trading pin attempts. It started with Bayley doing a bridge – Alexa kicked out and bridged into her own pin. Bayley kicked out, then rolled up Alexa. Alexa kicked out, rolling up Bayley. Bayley kicks out.
- Full Sail is chanting “This is Awesome!” as Bayley and Alexa do a (they’re back to back, then they’re on the ground). Bayley covers Alexa for two.
- Alexa gets Bayley on the ground near the turnbuckle. She attempts to jump on Bayley and instead lands on her knees. Bayley gets Alexa into a Bayley-to-Belly and pins Alexa.
- Bayley is your winner!
Alexa is not pleased, but rolls out of the ring, allowing Bayley to have her moment in the middle of the ring. After a short recap of the match, Bayley has the mike and she’s talking to Full Sail. She says it’s been a long road back – she talks about Dallas and her voice is so sad when she talks about losing her title.
She “bounced back” and got knocked down again by Nia Jax. She’s upset about losing her spot at The End to Nia and as she’s talking about taking her title back, a familiar song starts.
I’m grinning like an utter doofus because I love Nia Jax’s theme song. It’s so beautiful. Nia isn’t wearing ring gear. I can’t hear what she’s saying to Bayley, beyond threatening to put her back on the shelf. Bayley’s a little more understandable when she says “You and me, one more match.” Nia says “Okay”, then backs out of the ring.
I didn’t mention Corey Graves’ suit before, which is criminal. He’s wearing a lovely cream suit with a red kerchief in the pocket. Tom Phillips tells us we’re going to find out more about one of the most exciting tag teams in NXT – I’m entirely with him until he says “TM61”. They’re just not very memorable. They give us a short video package about Generic White Australian #1 and Generic White Australian #2.
Backstage interview with The Revival. Dash says they’re not worried about losing their titles tonight. Dawson says “Cathy”, telling me who the interviewer is because I’m still bad at remembering their names. “Tonight, we remain the absolute best tag team on this planet,” Dawson says, before saying, “Clink me, Dash.” I…Still don’t get why they do it, I guess it’s like a toast? I dunno.
Ad for the Cruiserweight Classic! I am so excited for this, y’all. And y’all should be, too, since Jordan’s gonna be recapping it.
MATCH: Blake & Murphy vs. The Hype Bros
We come back to the episode and oh, god. Poor Blake and Murphy. Not only are they wearing an absolutely atrocious pair of gear, with the ugliest color scheme ever, they got a jobber entrance, too. And by that, I mean they didn’t get an entrance.
…I take back my comment about their color scheme. The Hype Bros still exist. Radioactive green and…I guess watermelon pink and bubblegum? It’s just ugly. So ugly. Why.
I don’t remember their entrance being this impressive, with bouncing and smoke and huh.
“It’s a pity party,” Corey says, about Blake and Murphy being back together. Blake is apparently just taking pity on Murphy, the same way Corey does when Tom calls him to go hang out.
- Blake and Mojo to start us off. Blake jumps over Mojo, then gets shoulder checked by Mojo.
- Blake and Murphy get distracted by arguing over who’s got this match. Mojo tries to interrupt and gets yelled at by both of them and –
- Rhyno just showed up. Murphy ducked out of the way, while Rhyno destroyed Mojo, Zack and Blake.
- Full Sail chants “E-C-Dub!” as Rhyno poses on the turnbuckle.
- Murphy stares at the destruction from the ramp. For a guy with supposedly shitty luck, he got really lucky right there.
Corey has “no idea” what Rhyno’s doing back, but he is definitely happy that he’s here. While I mainly prefer Corey’s outfit, Tom looks good, too. The yellow and blue striped tie works well with his blue suit.
We lead into a new video package about Finn and Shinsuke’s match. It has Triple H talking in and Tye Dillinger – Tye says that both Finn and Shinsuke are both two of the most popular guys in NXT and both made their names in Japan. American Alpha and Neville are also included in the video package, Gable saying that the “wrestling fan” in him is excited.
We get a shot of Shinsuke and Finn from when they were younger and, oh, Finn, your hair. Your hair. What is that. …Not as bad as a later picture, where his hair is bleached blond.
“When you look across that ring and see a friend,” Triple H says, “It’s something different.” He says it’s almost disrespectful to not push your friend as hard and as much as you can.
The music that kicks in when Shinsuke issued his challenge is a wonderful piece. It’s very fitting for the theme and everything. Well done, NXT music director, well done.
“I think this is one of those moments where ten, fifteen years later, you’re still saying ‘I was there when Shinsuke Nakamura and Finn Balor faced off in NXT’,” Triple H says, one of the last lines in the video package.
Backstage interview with American Alpha. Gable, what is on your head. Looks like something Jeff Hardy would wear and I say that lovingly. They end the interview saying “We’re ready. We’re willing.” Gable held up his towel and they finished saying, “And Gable.”
Aaaand video package telling us that Samoa Joe is coming back next week!
Rhyno is stomping outside of Full Sail. An interviewer manages to catch him and make him stop for three seconds, but Rhyno just sneers in response to being asked why he’s back in NXT and stomps on.
MATCH: The Revival vs. American Alpha
Aaaaand here we go! The main event! 2-out-of-3 falls for the NXT tag titles.
I can’t tell if my muttered “Oh, god” was a response to my nerves over having to recap this or what Gable and Jordan are wearing. Nooo…Boys, whyyy. No.
The Revival’s music kicks in and damn. I love that theme. It’s so awesome. They climb into the ring, do a series of fist bumps, a quick hug and then stand on the turnbuckles. They come down, clink their titles again and start shedding their jackets.
I’m…I hope these outfits rub off on me, because I’m just sad looking at them. Does American Alpha need to have outfits which are mostly black? No, but it’s mostly black with neon colors works a lot better than the 90’s throwback pattern with sky blue accents. Gable’s boots don’t match these new singlets and it makes me sad.
- The bell rings. Dash and Gable start us off. Gable gets Dash around in the back, but Dash fights out and gets Gable into a wrist lock. Gable flips around the ring, trying to escape the wrist lock. He knocks Dash to his feet, then pulls him into an ankle lock.
- Dash manages to bounce his way to the ropes – Dawson shows up to pull him further out. Dawson checks on his partner’s ankle before they return to their places – Dash in the ring, Dawson on the apron.
- Dawson tags himself in.
- …Someone is chanting “Johnny Wrestling”. Johnny Gargano isn’t in this match.
- Gable gets Dawson into a wrist lock, then tags Jordan in.
- Jordan gets Dawson into an armbar. It involves an interesting move where Jordan tossed Dawson over his shoulders, I haven’t noticed that before in any other armbars.
- Full Sail is really not impressed, because the dueling chants here are “Johnny Wrestling” and “This is boring”. Ouch.
- Perhaps in response to the ‘This is boring’ chant, Jordan and Dawson are now rolling around the ring and throwing each other around the ring. There is a lot of sliding over the other person’s back and/or shoulders.
- Jordan did a kip up out of Dawson’s hold and Full Sail actually responded positively.
- Full Sail is booing? But nothing happened to boo beyond Dawson moving? I don’t get it? Was Full Sail just feeling really bloody cranky that day?
- Dawson dashes to American Alpha’s corner and punches Gable. Gable, obviously not happy with that, climbs into the ring while the referee darts over.
- While the ref – and the cameras – are distracted with Gable, it seems that Dash got into the ring, whacked Jordan in the back of the head and escaped the ring.
- Jordan turns around, probably in an attempt to get Dash back, but instead gets knocked into the turnbuckle by Dawson.
- Dash tags in and the Revival takes turns knocking Jordan to the ground. Jordan punches Dash back once and Dash’s look of annoyance was hilarious. It’s the sort of look you give your brother when he won’t stop poking you.
- Dawson tags in and he and Dash bounce Jordan off the ropes. I’m not sure what they were going for, since Jordan flipped out of it and landed on his feet.
- Jordan goes under them while they dash towards the ropes – bouncing back off the opposite set of ropes to lay them out with a double clothesline.
- Gable enters the ring and Jordan and Gable go to work on Dash and Dawson. They ram them into the turnbuckles, roll backwards and then dropkick them out of the ring – in perfect unison because Jordan and Gable are awesome like that.
- Full Sail is apparently feeling less cranky right now, because they’ve started chanting “Al-pha!”
- A break for a video package about Shinsuke and Finn. That’s…Next week. Ahhh, shit. Samoa Joe’s also coming back next week, so we’ll see how that screws with the match.
- We come back and Dawson and Jordan in the ring. Jordan has Dawson in a headlock, but Dawson quickly reverses by bouncing Jordan off the ropes and then slamming him into the ground.
- Jordan picks up Dawson and Dawson reaches behind him so that Dash can tag in. That was cool.
- Dash knocks Jordan to the ground, climbs on him and starts punching.
- Dash drives Jordan into the Revival’s corner, tags Dawson and immediately they start kicking at Jordan’s knee in unison.
- Dawson is now properly in the ring and continues to attack Jordan’s knee. He does a dragon screw, then bounces the side of Jordan’s leg off the mat.
- Dawson pulls Jordan up into a sitting position and starts whaling on his head.
- I feel like I’m missing important information about Jordan’s knee, as Dawson tags Dash in and he immediately starts attacking Jordan’s knee.
- Dash says “C’mon, JJ,” right before kicking Jordan’s knee hard enough to knock him to the ground.
- Dash tags in Dawson, then drags Jordan to the turnbuckle. They position him so he’s straddling it, basically, and then Dawson starts swinging the side of Jordan’s knee into the post.
- He does it twice, before the ref yells at him and he climbs back in. For once, the referee remembers there are two members of the Revival and yells at Dash to back off.
- Dawson wraps Jordan’s leg around the middle rope at an odd angle. The ref counts to three and then apparently gets distracted by lecturing Dawson or something, because he left the door wide open for Dash to start punching at Jordan’s knee.
- Even though Dash punches Jordan’s knee enough times that Jordan fell over to escape it, the ref still doesn’t notice. Nice.
- Dawson mocks Jordan as he tries to crawl across the ring, right before delivering a low dropkick to the head.
- He attempts a pin, but Jordan kicks out at two.
- When the pin doesn’t work, Dawson tags in Dash.
- Dash climbs onto the turnbuckle, then drops down, hitting Jordan’s knee with his elbow on the way.
- Dash drags Jordan to the middle of the ring, wraps Jordan’s leg around his leg, so the back of Jordan’s knee is touching the back of his knee, and then drops down, ramming Jordan’s knee into the mat.
- Elbow drop to the side of Jordan’s knee.
- Dash has Jordan in the middle of the ring and he’s doing a weird submission which puts odd pressure on Jordan’s knee. They alternate Dash chopping Jordan’s chest with Jordan kneeing Dash in the back.
- Full Sail chants “Angle!” as Jordan finally punches his way out of the submission hold.
- Dawson gets tagged in and he’s trying to get Jordan from making the tag. It involves a headlock and two different attempted suplexes, but he and Jordan keep spinning around. Finally, Jordan spins enough to tag in Gable.
- Dawson finally manages to get Jordan up for the suplex, but Gable does the save.
- Gable is destroying The Revival, with punches and dropkicks. Gable pins Dawson in the corner while standing on the second rope, but abandons Dawson to bring an approaching Dash to the ground with a crossbody.
- T-bone suplex from Gable to Dawson, right before Gable attempts a pin. Dawson kicks out at two.
- The crowd starts chanting “Gable!” as Gable whips himself towards the ropes. He pulls Dawson into a cradle pin, which doesn’t even last until one before Dawson “pops” out of it, according to Tom.
- Dash is in the ring. For about three seconds, before Gable ducks out of the way and Dash flips himself out through the ropes.
- Jordan is also in the ring, but the referee actually sees him.
- Dawson manages to lead Gable right into where Dash is by the ropes. He pulls the ropes down, making Gable flip over it. Both men are lying on the ground, but Gable seems to have taken the worst of it.
- Quick break for the Battleground ad.
- We’re about ten minutes into the match. You’d think we’d have a fall by now, but nope. Nope. It’s still 0-0.
- Dawson has Gable by the hair. He’s repeatedly hitting Gable’s head with his elbow. He only stops to whip Gable into the ropes, then hit him with a brutal clothesline.
- He attempts a pin. Gable kicks out at two.
- Dawson throws Gable into the corner. He tags Dash and they begin whaling on Gable. Corey calls it a “textbook clobbering”.
- Dash hits Gable with an european uppercut, which lays him out, then attempts a pinfall. Gable kicks out at one. Can we have a fall soon? Please?
- Dash tags in Dawson, then tosses Gable off the ropes. He does a short baseball slide to trip Gable and lay him out so Dawson can do an elbow drop.
- Dawson pins Gable for two. Seriously? It’s been nearly twelve minutes. I know y’all need to fill half an hour, but could we please have a fall?
- Full Sail is chanting “Let’s go, Gable!” as we get a close up shot of a rather annoyed Dawson.
- Dawson picks Gable up – by the nose? Ouch. The ref yells at him and he lets go.
- Then Dawson grabs Gable by the hair, pulls him back into the Revival’s corner and slams him down.
- Dash tags in. Dawson picks him up and then flings him down for a brutal leg drop to Gable.
- Dash attempts a pin. Gable kicks out at two. We should turn this into a drinking game. Take a shot every time Gable kicks out at two.
- There is one very determined child chanting “Angle”.
- Dash pulls Gable up for a headbutt, before rolling Gable around the mat a bit to set up for a neck crank.
- We get a nice shot of Dash and Gable which involves Gable’s boots and it just reminds me how much the 90’s throwback wrestling unitard clashes with them. I’m sad.
- Dash throws Gable to the ropes and attempts to follow up, but Gable ducks out of the way. Dash falls through to the floor.
- However, even this setback to the Revival wasn’t enough to let Gable tag Jordan in. Dash climbed back and tagged Dawson in.
- Dawson hauls Gable to the ropes by the Revival’s corner and the ramp, then puts Gable’s feet on the apron while Gable’s torso is between the top and middle ropes. He alternates chopping Gable in the chest, which makes Gable bend over, and kicking Gable in the face, to get him back up right for the chop.
- While the ref is distracted yelling at Dawson, Dash pulls Gable around and out of the ropes, only to clothesline him back into the ring.
- The ref is yelling at Jordan now, I’m not sure what Jordan did, but Dawson yells at him to count “Now!”, as he’s pinning Gable.
- Gable kicks out at two. Absolutely shocking.
- Dawson, who’s slowly inching further and further up the ‘visibly pissed off’ scale, grabs Gable by his hair and tries to bash his head on the turnbuckle, but Gable blocks by getting his foot up.
- Gable is starting to fight back. He’s punching Dawson in the chest. Dawson responds by kneeing him in the face.
- Dawson tosses Gable into the ropes. Gable ducks under the intended clothesline and bounces off the opposite ropes only to be caught in a spinebuster.
- Dawson pins Gable.
- Gable kicks out at two.
- About fifteen minutes into the match and still no falls, even as Full Sail chants “Al-pha!”
- Dawson has Gable in a headlock. Gable is attempting to fight out to tag Jordan, but instead Dawson just pulls him to the corner. Dash tags in – Gable attempts a sunset flip pin, but Dash gets out.
- Gable is reaching for Jordan, but Dash knocks Jordan off the apron.
- Dash and Dawson do a tag team move, where Dawson goes a legdrop to Gable. It’s effective, but Dawson grabs his hip – it’s implied he hurt it somehow.
- Jordan gets the tag and starts devastating the Revival. He suplexes Dawson and then tosses Dash up, so he belly flops onto the mat. Ouch. Jordan destroys them a bit more and attempts a pin on Dash, but Dash kicks out at two.
- …I feel…I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that we haven’t had a single fall.
- Jordan gets Dash into an ankle lock. Dawson attempts to pull Dash to the ropes for a break, but Gable knocks him off the apron. Aaand Dash taps for our first fall, at nearly twenty minutes into the match. Hopefully this picks up the speed because we’ve got ten minutes left.
- Jordan and Dawson are exchanging pin attempts. First it’s Jordan pinning, then it’s Dawson. While Dash pulls Gable off the ramp, Dawson gets Jordan into an inverted figure four lock, which puts more pressure on Jordan’s knee.
- Jordan taps. American Alpha, one. The Revival, one.
- Dawson attempts a pinfall almost immediately, but Jordan gets out.
- Gable gets the tag. He and Dawson go back to trading pin attempts.
- Right when I started wondering where Dash was, he reappeared to equalize the match.
- But Dash gets knocked out of the ring and Jordan almost gets a pinfall on Dawson. Full Sail’s “Ohhh!” when Dawson kicked out.
- Dawson gets Jordan into the inverted figure four again. Gable does a flying headbutt from the turnbuckle to break up the submission.
- Full Sail chants “NXT!” as Dawson and Jordan lie in the middle of the ring.
- Gable gets the tag straight into a wicked knee by Dawson. Gable sets up for a German suplex off the apron, but Dash interrupts.
- A wicked Shatter Machine to Gable on the apron and Dawson scrambles to get all of his limbs out from under the ropes so he can pin Gable.
- The Revival retains.
I’m not surprised, but, man, am I sad for Jordan and Gable. Those poor boys. We end out NXT with those boys and their sad faces.