Rehash · smackdown

Rehash: SmackDown 9th June, ’16

Welcome to Thursday Night SmackDown!

The show opens with AJ, Gallows and Anderson making their way down to the ramp, as we get a bit of a recap from the 6-man tag match from Monday Night RAW, with Xavier Woods being put out of action before the match had even begun, only for John Cena to come in and lay out the Club after the match. Of course, John Cena and AJ Styles are facing each other at Money in the Bank a week from Sunday, and the New Day and the Club are part of a fatal fourway tag team match, along with Enzo and Cass and the Vaudevillains.

AJ starts talking about the fact that people are describing this as possibly the best Money in the Bank ever, and points out that he and Cena might end up on opposite sides of the brand split so it’s possible that this will be the only time we get the opportunity to see them together. He tries to remind us about the promos that he and Cena cut on each other on RAW, and I mean, I appreciated that he stepped up, but I mostly remember Cena’s lines so I’m not sure AJ wants to be reminding me of that. It turns out AJ has an evil chuckle I’d generously describe as second only to Seth Rollins, so I can forgive him quite a few things.

Enzo and Big Cass make their way out to the ring, to big “How You Doin’” chants, and Big Cass calls out AJ for implying that the Club will dominate the tag match. For some reason, AJ is “Brother AJ” now, which makes me a little uncomfortable, but I’m hastily distracted by the fact that the Club tries to throw shade at Enzo by pointing out that he used to manage a Hooters, and Enzo just admits, yeah, that is a true fact, because he is a G, and takes precisely zero offense. He takes mildly more offense to the suggestion that his concussion was him “sleeping on the job”, but he and Big Cass still come out of this confrontation with my sympathy.

MATCH: The Club vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass

The New Day are wearing their tracksuits in the commentary area as the match begins. Xavier Woods reports that he had some rib contusions but his x-rays came back clear and he just needs to rest.

  • Enzo and Anderson start in the ring together. A lock-up in the middle of the ring leads to Anderson getting the upper hand and Enzo hits the mat after a couple of clotheslines.

  • Enzo gets thrown into the corner and takes a big boot to the midsection. When Enzo is thrown into the opposite corner, he reverses it into a hurricanrana.

  • Both men rebound off the ropes, and a blind tag is made to Gallows, Enzo taking Anderson down with a crossbody before Gallows enters the ring.

  • Gallows takes Enzo down with a big kick then a series of elbows to keep him down. Enzo kicks out of the cover.

  • Enzo takes several more kicks, and Anderson is tagged back in, and picks Enzo up into a backbreaker. Enzo kicks out at 2.

  • One of my favourite things about SmackDown is that Mauro’s play-by-play is great, and no slight on the New Day, but the play-by-play is virtually non-existent in this match.

  • Gallows tags back in and the two men double-team Enzo before Anderson climbs back out and Gallows hits a spinebuster on Enzo.

  • Enzo is thrown into the corner and takes several strikes and a big knee to the throat, then Byron wanders over and starts feeding Big E some grapes. I don’t know what’s happening here! I think Anderson tagged in? I’m listening to the New Day.

  • Anderson has definitely tagged in and they double-team Enzo, then Anderson puts Enzo in a headlock. Enzo tries to power out, but his attempt to get to his feet is turned into a spinebuster.

  • Anderson drapes Enzo over the turnbuckle and flies at him with a big kick to the midsection. Enzo drops out of the ring.

  • As Enzo gets to his feet and tries to get back in before the 10 count, Anderson grabs him for some move, but this is reversed as Enzo drops Anderson’s head into the ropes and slides back to the floor.

  • A big boot from Gallows in an attempt to keep Enzo on the ground, but he gets back in the ring anyway, just in time for a dropkick from Anderson that sends him back to the ground on the other side of the ring.

  • The Vaudevillains make their way out and pose on the ramp, just as we cut to commercial.

  • When we’re back, Enzo and Gallows are in the ring, with Enzo kicking out of a cover at a two-count. Enzo is back in a headlock, but this time successfully powers out into some strikes to the midsection. Gallows tries to pick him up, but Enzo slips out of the hold to land on his feet for some more strikes.

  • Enzo tries to leap over Gallows to make the tag, but is caught and falls a few inches short of Big Cass. Gallows sits him on the turnbuckle for a headbutt and some strikes, but Enzo fends him off with a few kicks and a DDT.

  • Enzo fiercely makes the tag at the same time as Gallows does, so Big Cass and Anderson in the ring together. Big Cass is cleaning house as he does, getting in some hasty offense then an Empire Elbow, before Gallows disrupts the pin.

  • Gallows taunts Big Cass, who throws him out of the ring, giving Anderson time to throw Big Cass as well.

  • The Vaudevillains are still around, we haven’t forgotten them, and they make their way slowly down the ramp. The New Day gets up from commentary to approach them and it becomes a brawl at ringside between the New Day and the Vaudevillains. The match is called to an end as the brawl spills back over into the ring.

The brawl in the ring becomes the focus, with Big E and Kofi double-teaming Anderson in one corner, Xavier Woods fighting Gallows in another, and the Vaudevillains taking on Big Cass in a third. The New Day throws the Club out of the ring, and Enzo comes in to take on the Vaudevillains with Big Cass, leaving them standing victorious in the ring.

Speaking of rivalries, Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho have had one for a while. We get a retrospective on their feud, which granted, hasn’t exactly reached Golden Truth levels of drag, but which has been going on for two months and started when someone had the bright idea to let Dean have a talk show. They’re fighting again on SmackDown tonight, because even though their feud ostensibly ended at Extreme Rules, they’re both in contention for Money in the Bank.

There’s a video package in memoriam for Muhammad Ali. I have little to say here, so I’ll let this segment stand for itself.

Renee is backstage with Lana and Rusev. She mentions, of course, that Rusev will be defending his championship against Titus O’Neil at Money in the Bank, and he does some pretty transparent heel work by claiming that everyone keeps talking about Muhammad Ali but should be talking about how Rusev is the greatest champion of all time. Titus comes in to call him out on this, and they talk up their upcoming match. Is it going to be on the pre-show? I hope it’s not on the pre-show.

MATCH: Cesaro & Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens & Alberto del Rio

The Swiss superman is the first superstar to make his way down to the ring, in this battle of music that makes me happy vs. people who are good at scowling.

  • Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn start in the ring together, with Kevin getting in some early offense with a kick into a side headlock. Sami whips Kevin across the ring and takes a clothesline, but gets to his feet and leapfrogs over Kevin into three armdrags.

  • Del Rio tags in and kicks at Sami. Sami leapfrogs over him and pulls him to the ground with another armdrag into an armbar, but del Rio gets to his feet and Sami pulls him into the corner to tag in Cesaro.

  • Cesaro armdrags del Rio into an attempted rollup, but it doesn’t last long. Del Rio gets Cesaro into the corner for a series of strikes, but Cesaro slips under him and puts del Rio in the corner. Del Rio slips under him and pulls Cesaro to the mat, hitting his chin on the turnbuckle on the way down.

  • Del Rio gets Cesaro into his corner and reaches out to tag in Kevin, who waves him off with, “You know what, you’re doing great by yourself!” and hops off the apron and walks away. Sami chases him away while Cesaro glares at him.

  • Del Rio hits a DDT on Cesaro while he is distracted, but Cesaro avoids the kick that follows, sending del Rio onto the floor. Cesaro hits a cannonball off the apron onto del Rio.

  • Cesaro climbs up on the commentary booth to gloat as we cut to commercial.

  • When we’re back, both men are in the ring again, del Rio with Cesaro in a headlock. Cesaro whips into the apron and del Rio catches him on the rebound and drops him into a backbreaker.

  • Some back and forth as Cesaro tries to regain some advantage, then del Rio hits a backstabber on Cesaro, leading to a kickout at two.

  • Cesaro climbs up on the turnbuckle and applauds, then hits a leg drop for another nearfall. He moves into a headlock, but Cesaro gets to his feet but takes a kick to the ribs before he can capitalize.

  • Del Rio tries to pick up Cesaro, but Cesaro reverses into a deadlift vertical suplex.

  • Sami and Kevin make an appearance again, brawling on the ramp. Sami chases Kevin back to the ring and throws him into the ring before returning to his corner.

  • Del Rio takes offense to Kevin’s abandonment and pushes Kevin and they fight amongst themselves in the ring, before del Rio climbs out of the ring to walk away. Kevin tries to follow and they push and shove each other some more, so Sami flies out over the ropes to take down both of them. Cesaro uppercuts del Rio over the barricade then suplexes him to the ground.

  • Del Rio climbs back into the ring and Cesaro climbs up onto the turnbuckle for a crossbody, Del Rio kicks out at two and a half.

  • Del Rio tries to get in some assault on Cesaro’s injured shoulder. Cesaro tries to reverse into the Cesaro swing, but is interrupted by a superkick from Kevin Owens. Sami comes in to attack Kevin, hitting a suplex, but takes a kick from Del Rio and rolls back out of the ring.

  • Pop-up European uppercut from Cesaro. Cesaro removes his elbow pad then starts an uppercut train on del Rio. del Rio avoids the last of them, but Cesaro picks him up into the Cesaro swing, then drops del Ro into the sharpshooter.

  • Kevin Owens tries to interfere, so Cesaro drops the sharpshooter to send him back out of the ring, then puts del Rio onto the turnbuckle for a standing dropkick.

  • An attempted superplex from Cesaro is interrupted by Kevin bouncing the ropes, allowing del Rio to hit the still-ridiculous double-stomp. Del Rio tags in Kevin for the cover, and Sami Zayn is just too late with his intercept to save, so it’s a three-count.

Kevin makes his way down the ramp before Sami can attack him, and climbs a ladder to taunt the two in the ring, blowing a kiss at Sami because hey, he’s learned a thing or two from Dean Ambrose lately.

MATCH: Becky Lynch (with Natalya) vs. Dana Brooke (with Charlotte)

There’s a guy with a “free hugs for Divas” sign in the crowd as Becky makes her way to the ring, and she gives the kid with him a hug, so that’s cute, I think? Not sure I would have acknowledged the sign if I was her, to be quite honest. I mean, free hugs are sweet and all, but haven’t we left the Divas label behind yet?

  • Becky immediately on the offensive, pushing Dana against the ropes then catching the kick and hitting a series of deep armdrags.

  • Dana slides out of the ring and Becky yells at her but doesn’t follow. Dana climbs back in and tries to taunt Becky by grabbing at her hair, but Becky whips her into the corner. This doesn’t last long, however, as Dana makes her way back to the middle of the ring, distracting the ref long enough for Charlotte to hit Becky with a right hand to the side of the head.

  • Dana hits a kick to the spine, then an elbow drop. Becky powers out of the bow and arrow stretch into an attempted rollup, but Dana kicks out quickly.

  • Leg lariat from Becky, then Dana is sent to the corner with an Irish whip for a forearm, then a back kick. Becky attacks Charlotte on the ropes to stop her interference, giving Dana time to assault Natalya. Charlotte attacks Natalya and both women are ejected from ringside.

  • Dana goes  for a rollup while Becky is watching both women leave, but Becky kicks out and turns it into a Dis-arm-her, to which Dana taps.

From bell to bell, the match was only a shade over three minutes, with the whole segment just over five minutes. Is this good enough? Given that there was no women’s match at all on RAW I’d like to say it’s better, but really. The women’s division can do better than this. We know that. C’mon.

MATCH: Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto

Dolph Ziggler is on commentary, which is kind of cool. There’s not a lot that can be said about this match, I think, because the important part is that Ziggler sounds really excited and happy to be there, which is distracting me.

  • Corbin absolutely towers over Kalisto, but Kalisto is still very much in control, dropping out of and avoiding Corbin’s offense and hitting kicks and dropkicks to throw Corbin off.

  • Corbin throws Kalisto into the barricade with a display of sheer strength, before wandering over to get in Ziggler’s face. Ziggler simply counters Corbin’s glower with, “I’m right here, do something about it! I can pull these jeggings off and get right in the ring if I need to!”.

  • Sorry, I really love Dolph Ziggler. Is that too apparent?

  • Both men make their way back into the ring, and Corbin stomps Kalisto several times against the ropes.

  • Corbin with Kalisto in a half-nelson chinlock but Kalisto powers out with several strikes with his free arm into a jawbreaker.

  • Corkscrew from Kalisto, then a headscissors, but Corbin kicks out of the cover.

  • “Lucha! Lucha!” chants from the crowd.

  • Corbin hits End of Days on Kalisto for an easy enough cover.

Corbin glares at Ziggler some more once the match is over, and Ziggler calls him a  “typical millennial”, implying that Corbin really just wants his approval. Of course, this is all implying that there is “unfinished business” between Corbin and Ziggler, and you know what, I’m not surprised, just a little disappointed.

Sheamus is backstage bragging about his appearance in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He has a small crowd gathered to listen to him; Zack Ryder, Goldust, R-Truth and Summer Rae. Zack fires off a bit of sass, but Sheamus shuts him down before Apollo Crews comes in to get in Sheamus’s face. Literally, with a punch right to the face. Sheamus storms off in a huff.

MATCH: Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho

As Dean makes his way to the ring, the commentary team reminds us that there’s a segment of the Ambrose Asylum scheduled for this coming Monday Night RAW, with special guests Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins – marking the first time that the Shield will be in a ring together since last year. Jericho makes his way to the ring, destroying someone’s sign on the way there. No need to get petty, Chris.

  • The match begins with a collar and elbow tie-up with Dean backing Jericho into the corner. The ref breaks it up and Jericho hurls some abuse at Dean before slapping him in the face. Dean responds not with immediate violence, but with the intense stare that he is so well-known for, like he just can’t believe that Jericho would stoop to such a thing.

  • Jericho leaps out of the ring to avoid whatever Dean is about to do, and Dean gives chase. As Jericho leaps back into the ring, Dean follows and both men rebound off the ropes and Dean hits a crossbody, then a series of strikes.

  • Dean has Jericho back in the corner for a knife-edge chop, then back into the middle of the ring for a series of stomps to the midsection.

  • Jericho manages to get in some offense on Dean, screaming at him that he took 69 thumbtacks from the man. Dean ducks under Jericho’s clothesline, then rebounds into a lariat of his own, taking Jericho to the mat.

  • Jericho gets to his feet but Dean clotheslines him over the ropes, then dives after him.

  • Dean starts to clear the announce  table, then climbs back into the ring to quickly disrupt the ten count, before putting Jericho on the announce table for a Dirty Deeds.

  • Jericho reverses Dirty Deeds, flipping Dean to the floor then throwing what looks like a milkshake at Dean.

  • When we come back from commercial, the two men are back in the ring, Dean collapsed in the corner with Jericho’s foot on his throat.

  • Jericho pulls Dean to his feet by the hair, but Dean hits some strikes, then rebounds off the ropes into a dropkick. Kicks out of the cover.

  • Dean in a headlock, but powers out. Jericho in a rollup, but kicks out at two, then puts Dean on the mat with a clothesline and a kick to the back.

  • Jericho drapes Dean over the ropes with his knee on the back of his neck, until he is pulled off by the ref. Jericho tries to rebound into something, but takes a powerful clothesline from Dean.

  • Dean hits several strikes, then rebounds from a whip into a forearm. An attempt at a running bulldog is blocked by Jericho, who then climbs onto the turnbuckle for a double axe-handle, but takes a kick from Dean instead.

  • Dean sets up for Dirty Deeds, but Jericho blocks, and rebounds off the ropes into a kick from Dean. The kick doesn’t land, however, as Jericho catches the leg and tries to turn it into the Walls of Jericho.

  • Dean reverses the Walls into a rollup, but Jericho reverses into another pin attempt. Dean kicks out and catapults Jericho into the turnbuckle. Jericho’s attempt at an aerial move meets a forearm, and Dean gets two-count.

  • Dean climbs into the turnbuckle to jump at Jericho, but Jericho dodges and Dean lands on his feet. Jericho climbs onto the turnbuckle himself and hits Dean with an enzuigiri, Dean kicking out at two and a half.

  • Jericho drags Dean to his feet by the hair, then places him on the turnbuckle for a superplex from the top rope, but Dean fights out of the hold and sends Jericho to the mat. Another rollup, this time again for a two count.

  • The two men meet in the middle of the ring with hard forearms, sending both of them to the mat looking exhausted.

  • Jericho to his feet first, but Dean jumps to his feet with several aggressive strikes, but Jericho manages to move free of Dean and tries to come at him again for a Codebreaker, which Dean scouts and blocks, trying to reverse into Dirty Deeds, which is also unsuccessful.

  • Dean is whipped into the corner, narrowly avoiding hitting the ref, but this causes him to hesitate long enough to take a Codebreaker from Jericho for a successful three-count.

Jericho slides out of the ring after the match to grab a ladder for some reason, which he hooks on the turnbuckle before dragging Dean to his feet, slapping him in the face then attempting to whip him into the ladder. Dean reverses, sending Jericho headfirst into the ladder. He then picks up the ladder and drops it on Jericho’s back, and as the crowd chants, “one more time!”, he sets the ladder up and climbs it, sitting at the top and pointing to the briefcase before hitting an elbow drop onto Jericho. His music hits as we fade away.

Only a week and change away from Money in the Bank! We’ll see you for Monday Night RAW.