Kick Off Match: Darren Young and Damien Sandow vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) vs. The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) vs. Mark Henry and Jack Swagger
So this kick-off match is for two spaces in the Royal Rumble (really, we’ve got enough roster left that people can fight over spaces?), and my call would be that it’ll be Henry and Swagger, or Young and Sandow. That’s my hope, anyway, because I’m tired of watching the Dudleys do anything, and as much as I love my little Ascension babies, I vaguely want to see Sandow win the whole Rumble. Just, out of nowhere, because why not?
Prediction: Darren Young and Damien Sandow get the entries into the Royal Rumble
Alberto Del Rio vs Kalisto – US Title Match
We were all pretty upset when Kalisto lost the US title technically (due to SmackDown being recorded on a Tuesday but not aired until Thursday) after only one day. They’ve been teasing this David and Goliath showdown for a couple of weeks now, and everyone is firmly behind our little luchador to get the win. It has to be Kalisto with the belt, because the alternative is just too horrible to believe in.
Prediction: Kalisto takes the title.
Dean Ambrose vs Kevin Owens – Last Man Standing Intercontinental Title Match
No matter who wins this match, it is guaranteed to be a bloodbath. Both men can take a hell of a lot of punishment, they’re vicious, violent and neither one is going to stop until they out the other down, not just for the ten count, but down and out. It’s sure to be an incredible match, involving all sorts of nasty little toys, and moves through the announce table, and I absolutely cannot wait. My call is Dean Ambrose for the win, because KO is more interesting chasing a title than he is defending it, and Dean defending it has created to good storytelling.
Prediction: Dean Ambrose to retain the title.
Charlotte vs Becky Lynch – Diva’s Title Match
Charlotte’s heel turn is pretty much cemented thanks to her dad’s role at ringside; she’s been given a taste of just how easy it is the win when you stack the odds in your favour. With Ric at ringside again for the title match, Becky’s going to have to keep her eyes on the prize if she wants to get the win. She’s been on fire lately, too, fighting with fervour and vigour, all energy and rage. It’s been a great change to see in Becky, and it’s be incredible to see her become the Diva she’s meant to be. Calling it as Becky taking the title off Charlotte, despite Ric’s interference, and holding it for a little while longer.
Prediction: Becky to take the title.
The New Day vs The Usos – Tag Team Titles Match
Another match where I don’t mind who wins, because I’ve been loving the Usos since their return from Jey’s injury – but of course, I love the New Day, their whole dynamic, and Francesca must be avenged. Either way, it’ll be a hell of a match, because these guys always bring their A-game, and with the titles on the line, they’ll have to put on a hell of a show. I want the Usos to win – I’m just in a mood for them to have the titles, and then New Day can get even more heelish as they try to get the titles back. I also think it’s ridiculously unlikely, but whatever, I like them, so that’s my prediction based purely on person preference.
Prediction: The Usos to take the titles.
The Royal Rumble – WWE World Heavyweight Championship Title Match
Honestly, we don’t know enough at all to do any sort of prediction on this, and I can’t honestly be bothered to sit and count all the active roster members who might be in, so, here’s a rundown of how I think it might go.
Surprise returns: Sami Zayn, maybe, AJ Styles as another option, as well. Kane, I suspect, even though we haven’t seen him for ages, as he’s got a record to uphold. Daniel Bryan, IF he’s cleared. I don’t want to see hide nor hair of him if he isn’t.
Quick eliminations: anyone who’s been in matches previously – so if Del Rio shows up, he most likely won’t spend long there.
Winner: Dear god, just not Roman Reigns. I adore him, I really do, but if they boo him again, it’s going to break him, and there will be riots. They can’t have him win for the title, from the number one position – they can’t. It’s too unbelievable, it’s too farfetched, and I don’t care that two consecutive Rumbles is how they got Stone Cold over. Stone Cold was a character – Roman Reigns isn’t. He’s the sometimes sassy guy who likes to support his family, and cuddles Dean Ambrose. He’s trying to get a personality, but he was pushed too early and too soon, before he had a chance to develop himself, and unlike Ambrose and Rollins, he didn’t have an indie persona to fall back on.
Prediction: Anyone but you, Roman. Anyone but you.