So, before I was even ready, we found out that the traditional 5 vs 5 match was going to be on the PRE-SHOW? ARE YOU PUTTING CESARO ON THE PRE-SHOW AGAIN, WWE?
So, to count the teams out.
Team Heel: Miz, Bo Dallas, Stardust, The Ascension
Team Face: Neville, The Dudley Boyz, Titus O’Neill, and Goldust.
Stardust was sat like a teen princess waiting until his brother came out, so we start the match with sibling rivalry, and Stardust completely losing it. He tries for a kick, gets caught, thrown back, but tags Viktor in, walking away from the ring to cool down, and Viktor is straight out and eliminated, in seconds. Goldust left in the ring as Konnor comes in, then Goldie tags in Titus. I love seeing Titus wrestle, and watching him grapple with Konnor is incredible, but at the same time, pretty sad there’s no Darren Young.
Also, this has blown ALL of my predictions out of the water, and makes me wonder if everyone else got Thanksgiving week off.
Titus gets the crowds shouting for D-Von, and tags him in to take more out of Konnor, before he tags in Bubba for a suplex and then a splash, Konnor rolling out of the ring before the ‘get the tables chant rises. Stardust and Miz are out of the ring quickly, Bo being thrown in to join them, and Neville flies out of the ring to land on them.
We come back to Konnor taking a bit of power over Bubba, but Bubba manages to reverse and eliminates Konnor. Stardust goes over with a hip toss, and Team Heel get D-Von into their corner, and take turns working him over. Stardust does a lovely cartwheel and then the Cody chant builds, Miz hits a good boot to D-Von, but he kicks out at two. D-Von plants Miz, and both men are in the centre of the ring. Stardust takes a leap off the top rope and gets a fist to the belly in response, sending him flat. D-Von chooses to tag Neville, and the fight suddenly gets fast and impressive, the two flexible men ramping up the speed and going at it with every inch. Neville slams Stardust into the turnbuckles, Bo gets tagged in, fights him back, and then Miz steals the pin. However, Goldie rolls him up quickly, and Team Heel are quickly running out of men. Goldie and Stardust are in the ring, and Stardust is hitting vicious boots.
When we come back from the ads, Bo has Goldie outside the ring, but quickly brings him back in for the pin, with a kick out at two. Bo tries for a stranglehold, trying to make the older man fade but Goldie gets free to get a dropkick from Bo. Stardust gets tagged in and gets a cheap shot in from the outside of the ring. He goes for the tables, but changes his mind, kicking Goldie viciously in the face. Stardust has the pin, but wants to make his brother tap, Goldie rolling him up and making Stardust kick out at two, twice, with Stardust getting distracted easily. Stardust tags in Bo, who drops two good elbows on him, but Goldie kicks out at two again. If they don’t take this down to Stardust vs Goldust, then WWE are missing out, because the feud was spectacular. Stardust and Bo go for a wishbone, and shove Neville off the apron. Both Stardust and Goldie end up flat out in the ring, and crawl for the tags, making it Titus vs Bo, and Titus O’Neill is just so strong. Stardust jumps him and gets backbreakers for his trouble, before Titus pushes them both into the corner. Finally the ref gets control of the situation, and we see Stardust left against four men, baffled, puzzled, horrified, and he goes to walk away. Titus stands in his way, and then Goldie’s behind him. He runs away and straight into the 3D, giving Team Face, Dudleys, Goldie and Titus, the win.
That was… underwhelming. At least I’m glad I thought I’d start the pre-show early, but if that’s the only elimination match we get? No thanks. But it does count Neville out of my other one, which could be an interesting choice, even if he did get eliminated early, so he could possibly run off and get ready to be in another match. Who knows?
In the social media lounge, we have Tyler Breeze and Summer Rae, with Tom Phillips having tried facial hair to look like a real adult. Tyler comes across as an aggressive dick, which is fine, but Summer seems like a stupid sorority girl. You deserve better, Summer Rae. You really do.
Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem to start us off, because Vince likes to wave his cock at terrorism threats. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Lillian Garcia, but as an Englishwoman, USA chants exist purely to make me feel weird.
We get a nice reminder about the 25 years of The Undertaker, with some gorgeous video packages, before we get updated that Wyatt took Kane and Taker prisoner, and then they just showed up somehow, like nothing happened, and now there’s this feud?
We then get shots of Seth’s poor face as he realises he’s screwed his knee, and then some gorgeous moments from the championship tournament, as well, showing us everything we have to look forward to tonight.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Semi-Final – Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio
They don’t ease us into this, do they? We start with Cole, Lawler and JBL on commentary as Roman Reigns comes down to ringside… and it sounds a bit like the boos have started early. Awkward. Del Rio comes down, and Roman looks a little hesitant, like he’s not quite sure how Del Rio wants to play this. They start with a simple grapple, and Cole reminds us that Seth hurt his knee, as if we were forgetting that. The crowd don’t seem to know what they want, but Roman delivers a good shoulder tackle to Del Rio, but mostly the men seem to be keeping their distance from each other until Del Rio drives Reigns into the corner for some punches, but in a show of strength, Reigns throws Del Rio over him. He gets thrown out of the ring, but drags Del Rio with him, until Del Rio shoves him into the barricades and the ring post in quick succession. Looks like Reigns got a stinger from that after a splash, as he flexes his fingers carefully, checking the movement.
Once more, Roman gets a good throw down on Del Rio, and is throwing him around, corner to corner, leaving Del Rio on his knees. Del Rio uses the ropes on Roman’s neck before a good kick sends him outside the ring, stunned. Roman on the floor, struggling to breathe, we cut to Triple H, who looks quite happy, before Roman gets an elbow to the face from Del Rio, off the top rope. Del Rio gets Roman in a sleeper hold, wearing him down, not letting him take a moment of space. Reigns powers out, and Del Rio takes some strong punches before ending up back in the turnbuckle – but dodges as Reigns moves, his shoulder taking some serious punishment. Reigns dodges Del Rio, which leaves the US Champ flying feet first through the ropes, and struggling to get back into the ring, so Reigns comes round and helps him out with a drive-by. He slams Del Rio off the announce table before throwing him back into the ring and flooring him with a lariat. In the corner, he beats the hell out of Del Rio before connecting with a boot and leaving him on the mat in the middle of the ring.
Reigns cocks his fist for the superman punch, but Del Rio take him for a backstabber and pins Roman for two in a genuine moment of ‘oh god’ from everyone watching. Del Rio comes off the back foot now, get Roman in the corner before dragging him into another pin for two. He argues with the ref about count speed, and just as Roman’s trying to get himself up, he charges, Roman dodging, getting a pin and Del Rio kicks out at two. Roman’s looking frustrated at the way this is going, so sits Del Rio on the top rope. He gets him standing, and Del Rio tries to fight out of it, getting him in position for the double stomp. It doesn’t hit, and Del Rio’s knee buckles when he lands, so Roman hits him with a superman punch, a huge grin rising across Roman’s face in the corner, before he goes for a spear and gets a kick to the face. Roman’s down, and it looks like it’s for the count, but he gets a shoulder up at two and a half.
Del Rio pumps up the crowd and goes for the arm breaker, before we get a cool spot where Reigns manages to twist and roll it into a sit-up powerbomb – and Del Rio kicks out. Both men look exhausted, but Del Rio manages to get him into the arm breaker, and for a second it looks like he’s got him, but Roman moves out, scooping up Del Rio and trying to take him over the ropes. However, Del Rio doesn’t let go of the arm, putting all his weight on it, and when he does, Roman’s holding his shoulder. Del Rio back in the ring he goes or a spot from the top rope, and Roman rolls free, gets the spear, and pins Del Rio, just about, for the three count. Like I put in my predictions, we’ve got an injured arm being played up for Roman’s title match. Roman looks like he can’t believe it, a half-grin that says he’s pleased about this.
We get an interview with Jojo and Roman, and Dean interrupts, the two of them grinning at each other, Roman telling Dean to get it done. Roman looks genuinely happy as KO tries to say that he’ll win, but Roman shakes his head – his boy’s gonna whoop KO’s ass.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Semi-Final – Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens
Dean comes out first to a great pop, followed by KO, and this match is going to be one hell of a show. The two start with some mat wrestling, which always nice to see, Dean’s been showing us what he can do recently, between this and the chain wrestling with Ziggler. There are some great deep arm drags from Ambrose, before he gets KO into a pin for one, but KO rolls him up after an elbow, another for one. We all know Ambrose can take punishment, but KO is going to make him work for it, Dean tumbling him over the top rope and jumping on him for good measure before throwing him into the ring again and pinning him for one again. Dean goes to the top rope, but KO bounces the ropes, leaving him caught there for some good punches, but Dean is down in the corner, like he’s nearly out. He manages to survive a snapback, and kicks out of the pin at two, but gets held in the stranglehold until he can spin his way out of it and headbutts Owens a good couple of times before he’s thrown into the turnbuckle. He pins Dean for two, and Ambrose is in the middle of the mat, , gives him and kick and hits him with a running senton, but Dean stick kicks out a two. KO uses the ropes the choke Dean a little, then grabbing Dean at the back of the neck and sending him back down to the mat.
Owens looks genuinely disappointed that Ambrose isn’t giving him more of a fight, and Dean walks into clothesline, before being held in another sleeper hold. Triple H is shown watching the match standing up, like he’s too poor to watch it in an office, in a damn chair, but whatever. KO goes for another running senton, and Ambrose gets out of the way, but a double clothesline takes them both down flat. Takes a count of six for Dean to get up, both mens taggering backwards into each other and Dean going for a few jabs to KO’s chest, before he runs forwards and gets flung into the top rop, taking a boot. KO actually comes off the top rope in a fucking MOONSAULT that missing, and Dean pins him, but he kicks out. I’m amazed that didn’t get a ‘holy’ shit’ chant because that was incredible.
Dean gets KO up to the top rope for the punches, and then tries to take him over, Owen’s getting him with a head-butt, with Ambrose coming back up again for more punishment. KO lifts Ambrose into the air, but both men come off the top rope hard, the pin only keeping Dean down for two. Dean does a great rebound lariat and KO goes out of the ring for some breathing time. When Ambrose tried to take him from over the ropes, he gets caught and slammed into the announce table. KO goes for the pop up powerbomb, but Dean counters it – twice, coming back with a rebound lariat and hits dirty deeds for the three count.
Slightly disappointed that there wasn’t a swerve, but Dean rips his tank top a fair amount, and take it off just as he left the ring, so I suppose I got one of the things I wanted out of the evening.
5 vs 5 Elimination Match
Subtitle: for realises this time. Thank goodness the one of the pre-show wasn’t the only one we were getting, because… no. Worried that, as Cesaro’s not here, and Neville didn’t look like he should have been in the last match, the rotator cuff injury rumours I saw might be true. I really hope not.
Team Face: Ryback, Lucha Dragons, The Usos
Team Heel: Sheamus, Barrett, The New Day
I’m really glad that New Day decided to talk, because my hands are very, very sore at this point. I need more ad breaks. When Sheamus tries to get involved with the talking, even his own team look at him like they can’t stand him. Poor boy.
We start with Jimmy Uso against Xavier Woods’ new pompadour hairstyle – clearly a wig he picked up playing Fallout 4 – and Jimmy makes a spirited attempt to ruin it completely, with a handful of hair, dragging Xavier around the ring. Jimmy tags in Sin Cara to throw Xavier around, getting him up for a fantastic suplex, and a pin for two. Xavier tags Sheamus in, and almost straight away, Sin Cara rolls him up, then dodges him, sending him out of the ring. Sin Cara makes the tag to Jey, and then the New Day and Barrett are making their entrances, getting thrown over the ring. The Usos and Lucha Dragons fling themselves over the rope to land on them, and then Ryback launches himself onto everyone, looking very uncomfortable on the top rope!
The legal men, Jey and Sheamus, go in, but Barret tugs the rope, making Jey fall awkwardly, before he gets himself tagged in so he can put Jey on the tope rope and give him some punishment. As it have been for the last week, Jey gets pulled into the corner of the opposing team and into the ‘unicorn stampede’ from everyone. Xavier pulls out the trombone, and Kofi and Big E get jiggy, with even Barrett trying out his white boy rhythm and going for it. Sheamus and Jey are still in the ring, before Kofi Kingston goes for the cover and gets a kick out at two. Jey gets a lucky dropkick to Kofi, but instead of going for the pin, gets the tag to Jimmy, and Xavier Woods comes into face off against him. Jimmy makes sure to get a cheap shot on Barret, but it’s a distraction for Xavier to hit him hard and then take the tag to Barrett. Jimmy tags in Sin Cara, helps him get to the middle of the top rope, and Barrett is out. Kofi Kingstone decides he can fly with the other boys, and Sin Cara tags in Kalisto to try to take him out, with Jimmy Uso getting tagged in soon after, and pinning him – but only for one.
Jimmy has Kofi down, but he gets up, Kofi making the tag to Xavier Woods, who leaps from the top rope, and takes Jimmy out. Sin Cara almost had Xavier in response, but he kicks out at two, again, and once more for good measure before giving Sin Cara a good knee to the face. Big E hits Sin Cara, who actually hits the outside of the ring like he’s never getting up again. Sheamus tags himself in as Sin Cara gets up, and takes him down with a kick, stealing the pin when Big E had done all the work, eliminating Sin Cara. Ryback takes his chance and sends Big E flying, before tagging in Jimmy Uso, and Big E is eliminated, with a retaliation from Sheamus taking out Jimmy Uso. Kofi and Xavier are trying to hold their big friend up and make it so he can stay, saying they’ll take him out to the locker room, because he’s hurt – leaving Sheamus alone against everyone else as they walk out.
Sheamus looks pretty confused, Kalisto being sent into face him, throwing the little guy into the air and pinning him for two. Sheamus gets him outside the ring for some vicious blows while balanced on the apron. Jey gets a gorgeous forearm which takes Sheamus into the corner, after a lateral press, but only gets the cover for two. Kalisto tags in Ryback, flinging him easily with a thighbuster, and Ryback wants the chants to rise for him. Sheamus rolls out of the way of the meathook and rolls up Ryback, before doing it again, only for it not to work either time. Sheamus drives up for a brogue kick, but Ryback catches him, fighting out of the mess before Kalisto comes in off the top rope. Jey Uso makes the tag, and then Ryback tags himself in, pinning Sheamus for the win. Jey and Ryback lift Kalisto onto their shoulders in a show of solidarity as we go to an ad break and I try to warm my fingers up from typing non-stop for the last hour!
Diva’s Championship – Paige vs. Charlotte
Well thank goodness commentary are reading us the tweets, I’d hate to miss out on what Becky thinks about her two bezzie mates having a row. The crowd boos both divas, because #GiveDivasAChance didn’t make it this far, apparently. Paige starts the match by backing away a little, Charlotte getting behind her and just throwing her around like a ragdoll, which is impressive to see. Charlotte gets Paige into the ropes, before she’s pulled away, then Paige drags her close and gets some vicious knees to Charlotte’s face. Both women end up on the apron, with Paige shoving Charlotte off and onto the floor, via a ring post to the spine.
Paige is pulling Charlotte around, and both of them go for some hair-pulling, because that’s going to help us see them as woman and not little girls. Paige locks onto Charlotte’s back, but she fights out of it, leaving both of them a little stunned. All the hair flicking out of faces makes me remember how we always had to tie our hair up in sports lessons, and why the divas don’t have to. Charlotte goes for the figure eight, but doesn’t get it, and Paige hits her hard, pinning her for two, before mockingly shouting ‘woo’ and going for the figure four. Charlotte gets up, and gets the figure four, slaps Paige in the face, before trying to twist it into the figure 8 as Paige screams and tries to wriggle them to the ropes. Charlotte is off the apron with the move still locked in, with all her weight on Paige’s leg. Even once the break is forced, Charlotte moves back, then grabs Paige by the legs and slams her face off the apron.
Mocking Paige’s catchphrase, Charlotte gets Paige back into the ring and takes down a boot cover to get her knee in Paige’s face twice, hard, again using daddy’s moves. She gets Paige’s head between her knees and slams her face into the mat, before getting her head in a lock, rolling her over time and time again. When there’s finally a break, Paige moves out of the way and gets Charlotte into the ring post, before throwing her out of the ring – but of course she can only win through pinfall or submission, so Paige drags Charlotte back into the ring and pulls her back over the ropes, stretching her. A great suplex from Paige, and she’s bending Charlotte’s leg back with a cross-face hold. She breaks the hold a little, before going back into a leg wrap that Charlotte uses to roll her backwards and onto her shoulders, Paige sitting up quickly. Charlotte twists out and slams Paige into the mat, and a small amount of ‘this is awesome’ breaks out from the crowd – because this really, really is.
Getting Paige in the corner, Charlotte gets a neck breaker, but Paige manages to reverse the pin and hold Charlotte down for two. A small slugfest breaks out, the crowd cheering for Paige, but Charlotte catches Paige and manages to spear her into the ring, Paige rolling away, and finally crawling, as Charlotte comes to drag her back into the ring. Once she’s back in, she rolls out again, and Charlotte tries to get her back in. Paige slams her into the barricades, where she looks stunned, then does it again instead of trying to pin her for the win. Paige stands on the barricades while men hoot at her like she’s table dancing, but Charlotte climes up and goes for a speak off the barricades. The official is at a count of five when Charlotte takes Paige by the hair and drags her back into the ring. She gets the figure four locked in, and then the bridge takes it to the figure eight, Paige trying to twist to the rope – but in the end, she has to tap.
Interestingly, the whole match, and the recap, we’ve been avoiding showing what Paige said about Reid Flair, which makes me wonder if Ric, who apparently didn’t get told before the spot this week, took issue with it, or if they just realised that it was pushing things a little far. It hasn’t gained Paige the heel heat she needs, and it seemed tasteless.
We get an interview between Jojo and Dean, with Dean shirtless because he loves us. ‘I love Roman Reigns, I’d give him the shirt off my back, but Roman Reigns won’t pay my bills’ he says, and then Roman shows up and says, usually, he’d hug him, but that tonight isn’t about love or hugs. They’ll face each other in the ring. They fist bump, and walk away.
Grudge Match – Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dolph ahs new ring gear, and it’s even better than the last lot, even if he is in pants. The two start off with grappling, Tyler taking his time to sit on the top rope and make sure he looks pretty. Dolph’s face says it all, and when Tyler approaches him again, he rolls him over a few times, then mocks his pose in the opposite corner. Tyler runs for him, and he runs into a dropkick, and Ziggler sends him over the ropes. As previously, Tyler drops behind Summer Rae, she she’s in the way and can scream at Dolph as if he’s going to touch her. Tyler sends Dolph into the ropes in a terrifying looking spot, leaving Dolph outside the ring, wincing and holding his neck. Tyler drags him back in and hangs him off the ropes again. He’s just yanking Dolph around, vicious kicks to the knee Dolph’s been having trouble with for a while, including a half-crab locked in.
Dolph manages to crawl to the ropes to break the hold, but the knee is clearly giving him trouble. Tyler leaps on him from the second rope, but Dolph hits him with a dropkick that clearly hurts him as well. When they’re up Dolph hits him with a clothesline and then a neck breaker, before an elbow drop and a pin for two. Dolph goes for the famouser, and Tyler rolls him up for two. He goes to roll him off the ropes, but Tyler hangs on, before he’s caught, and rolls him up instead. Dolph plants Tyler face first into the mat, and that knee might be giving him issue, but he’s going for the superkick, caught by Tyler. Backslide, and Breeze kicks out, Dolph hanging Breeze off the ropes. When the official finally breaks it, Dolph heads back in, Tyler catching him on the bad knee and the show off going down for the three count.
Noticing that even though we’re back in the states and he must have had time to see his hairdresser, Tyler’s still very ginger. Darling, please. And get some hair ties that don’t break a minute into your match.
25 Years of History Match – Undertake & Kane vs. Wyatt Family
Once more, they let Taker out in a hat that’s too small and I weep because his supposedly fearsome appearance is ruined by that. Erick Rowan decides to jump the gun and run in, so gets choke slammed and taken out straight away. Against all odds, Wyatt and Harper are on the apron, when we were all pretty sure Harper wouldn’t be in this match, and Harper steps in as the bell rings, with Kane. Taker gets tagged in pretty soon, and Harper’s in trouble straight away, Bray hanging on the apron like he’s judging the whole thing. Taker goes to the corner, holding Harper’s arm, but Harper breaks it with a punch to the Phenom. Bray tags in, Taker slams him to the mat, and Bray thinks better of it, tagging Harper in again. Taker again takes to the top rope, with Harper’s arm in his grip, walking along the top rope like he’s done for years, slamming him into the mat. A leg drop on the apron leaves Harper stunned on the outside of the ring, and Taker tags in his brother to pull Harper into the ring again.
Kane on the outside of the ring goes to punch Bray Wyatt, then Braun Strowman throws him over the announce table. Taker tries to take issue with this, but the ref doesn’t seem to care. Commentary has a few headset issues from that, tech scrambling to sort them out. Kane’s taking an in-ring beating from Harper and Wyatt in turn, looking stunned and still in the corner, but eventually he gets himself moving again, but runs into a lariat from Wyatt, with Wyatt going for the sister Abigail, before Kane grips him by the throat. The two of them hit the mat hard, and Kane manages to get the tag, but so does Wyatt, so it’s back to Harper vs. Taker. Taker slams him around a little, then goes for a chokeslam, before being hit by Wyatt, then Strowman, sending him out of the ring where he lands on his feet. He gets Strowman for a chokeslam, and Kane joins him, slamming Strowman through the Spanish announce table.
Back in the ring, Harper catches Taker with a kick, and Wyatt and harper lay out Kane and Taker. Bray goes for his bridge walk, and Taker and Kane sit up (slightly out of sync) and chokeslam the Wyatts, Bray rolling out of the ring and leaving Harper there as Taker prepares for the tombstone piledriver. He hits it, and pins Harper for three, taking the win. The crowd give a standing ovation as the Brothers of Destruction stand in the ring and we flash to ‘thank you Undertaker’ signs in the crowd. Personally, I think he’ll be back at Mania, to take his final bow, before retiring for good. This match was a little slow, because Kane and Taker are getting on a bit, but still some very cool spots, and it’s just a warm feeling to see Taker’s moveset, and to remember how it felt when I was a kid and watching him, how frightening I found him, and how intimidating he was then. I hope he makes a final finish at Wrestlemania, I don’t want him to go out with no big fanfare, but it needs to be soon, before these matches feel like we’re watching a legend fall apart before our eyes. They make their exit, and the crowd keeps cheering.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Final – Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
The match we’re all a little terrified to see. Apparently Dean didn’t find another shirt, because he comes out with his previous one ripped and around his waist, which no one minds at all. Both men are making little eye contact, avoiding each other’s gaze like they can’t decide if they want to do this or not. They go straight into a slugfest, Roman tossing Dean into the mat, bouncing him off the ropes before Dean comes back with the fists. Running into Roman, he goes flat back, and after taunting Roman a little, he gets them both over the top rope. Roman tries to toss him back into the ring, but Dean goes for a rebound lariat, sending Roman back. He goes back into the ring, then over the top rope and sends Roman back into the barricades. He gets Roman back into the ring and hits a missile dropkick off the top rope, getting Roman into an arm bar in the centre of the ring. The two of them can’t stop talking to each other, but it’s clear this is on. They are not playing here. Dean gets Roman into the corner and is slugging at him, but Roman lifts him clear, and gets a sit out powerbomb on Dean, with a kick out at two. Roman’s favouring the bad rm. He gets Dean back onto the top rope, deadlifts him, but Dean’s getting an elbow into him, and Dean rolls him over and onto the mat. He goes to the top rope and there’ half a superman punch from reigns as he catches him and sends him to the floor. Both men are hurting, clearly, Ambrose struggling to get up and Reigns wobbly on his feet like a new colt.
Reigns goes for the superman punch, but Dean catches him, going for dirty deeds. He gets countered, goes a rebound lariat, and Roman catches him with a spear. Again, Dean kicks out at two, and they’re both flat in the centre of the ring. Roman rises, face angry, and roars to the crowd, but walks into a foot, dodging out of the way as Roman hits the ring post with the bad shoulder. When Reigns gets up, Dean hits dirty deeds, and pins him – but Roman kicks out at two. As the two of them sit up there’s some almost-friendly shoulder bumping which becomes hard fists to the jaw and a slug fest, Roman adding boots and a head-butt, both men holding pained knees. Dean slamming into Roman in the corner, punching him over and over, Roman spins it so Dean’s in the corner, Dean revers it again and runs to the opposite corner – but Roman catches him with a spear, and Dean is down, out, and over for three.
Roman gets handed the title and hides his face in it, grinning like he can’t believe that he’s done it, practically sobbing with how happy he is in this moment. Dean lies behind him, holding his ribs, not even trying to sit up, face blank. The ref keeps checking him, but Dean’s rising to his knees, hand on his ribs, to wrap an arm around Roman’s shoulders. He kisses Roman’s cheek, his hair, mutters ‘I love you, okay’ as he does so, Roman gratefully accepting being held, before Dean pulls back, fist bumps him, and leaves the ring for Roman to celebrate his win just like he won it – alone.
Triple H comes out to hold Roman’s hand in the air and congratulate him. He holds his hand out to be shaken, and Roman turns away, refusing the friendly handshake, looking at the title. He seems to consider something, and turns to spear Triple H. Sheamus appears as Triple H hits Roman, knocking him flat, and cashes in. He pins Roman for two, but he kicks out. Sheamus moves back, Roman almost unable to move, and then Sheamus slams into him again, and pins him for the three count
Our new WWE World Heavyweight Champion is – Sheamus.
Triple H raises Sheamus’ hand high, still holding his ribs, and the two of them stand above Roman’s prone body, and Sheamus puts his foot on Roman’s chest, kicking him while he’s down. Sheamus and Triple H leave the ring, Daddy Trips looking incredibly smug, and Roman just lies in the middle of the ring, hands on his head and tears in his eyes. He watches them go, but then just buries his head in his arm, like he can’t bear to think this is reality. When he sits up, the tears are obvious, and he’s biting his lip like he can stop himself from feeling like that. He stands, the crowd boo him, and he slowly makes his way out, his music covering some of the boos, and he still makes time to grip the hands of two or three people as he goes, before it all seems too much. He exits, loosening the straps on his vest, and it’s over. Roman’s dream, the pay per view, the tournament. It’s all over.