Rehash · smackdown

Rehash: Smackdown 19th Nov ’15

As we had on Raw this past Monday, we start with a tribute to Nick Bockwinkel, before we hit the main credits. Obviously the excitement is placed on Sunday’s PPV of Survivor Series, so they’ve thrown the four main contenders into a four man tag match tonight for a test of strength and to get us all pumped up.

We start with Miz TV, with The Miz getting a more lukewarm reaction than my cup of tea. Miz showsus the title, and we can see Seth’s custom plates have been take off it. KO doesn’t wait until Miz has finished talking for his music to hit, and ambles down to the ring early, which taxes even Miz’s professional smile, which I suspect is the one he used when creative told him about this angle. Owens says he’s making it the Kevin Owens show, and that after Sunday, no one will be able to say he’s not ‘The Man’. Del Rio’s music cuts off Miz as well, with Zeb Colter joining in, and once more we get commentary baffled as to what a mobility scooter is. Please, guys. Read a book, look at Wikipedia sometimes, please. Colter says that they’re not falling for any hate tonight, and will refuse to participate in Miz TV, calling it Blue’s Clues or Sesame Street, and tells Miz his show is crap. KO is having a laugh about it until Colter starts saying he made his way across the border by skating across Lake Michigan. I… I don’t even know right now. Del Rio says they’ll need someone to clean the pools in mexAmerica, and KO counters by saying that no one missed him.

Dean Ambrose gets tired of waiting to be announced and wanders in on his own, breaking up the fight, which Miz is unhappy about, because fights mean ratings. Dean says he’s thrilled and humbled to be on Miz TV, and lets Miz take a seat, so he can take it on. Dean comments that Del Rio’s a champ, but he will go through him if he needs to, the turns on KO saying that he hands out a good beating, but Dean can take a beating like no one else, so he’s going to walk out with the championship. Miz starts to introduce Roman Reigns, who interrupts and ambles down to the ring with a fairly honest smile going on. Dean is, obviously, the only person in the ring who looks happy to see him.

Miz is a little fractious that not one is letting him introduce them, and Roman says that the formula of Miz TV is Miz runs his mouth until everyone else shuts it up for him. Aaaand then there’s sudden R-Truth. And no one has any idea what’s happening. He says he’s the underdog for this championship, and Miz’s baffled face is adorable, as is KO biting his own cheek so he doesn’t corpse. Dean and Roman are just having a chat, apparently. Miz says Truth isn’t even in the tournament, and Truth looks perplexed by this – the tournament has been going on for two weeks, and R-Truth hasn’t been in it. He seems to think someone told him he was going to be in a match, but he says he’s made a mistake, and wishes Roman and Dean good luck, getting a hug from Dean, but refuses to wish good luck to KO and Del Rio.

Miz isn’t happy, and says that no one understands the formula, how the battle might pit friend against friend, champ against champ. Roman says he needs to chill out, that he needs to direct them. Getting Miz to say ‘aaaand ACTION’ so Dean can punch him in the face. Ko and Del Rio wander off, and Dean and Roman hang out in the ring together, Miz laid out on the carpet. Nice way to make it so no one has to answer anything, Creative.

 When we come back from the break, Miz is in the middle of the ring, rubbing his jaw, and furious that he’s been disrespected, that he can’t possibly be asked to do a match now, and that he wants it cancelled – but Cesaro’s music interrupts him. The Swiss Superman makes his way down, Miz shouting at the ref that he’s not doing this, that he won’t have the match. Booker says Cesaro vs Reigns was the best loss of his career, which… isn’t really very illustrious. The ref takes Cesaro off Miz as he hasn’t stripped his coat off, so he goes at Cesaro with a few good boots, before stripping off his coat and running into a clothesline, Cesaro taking him straight into the cross-face submission hold, where Miz taps out straight away.

My heart skips a beat as Stardust’s music hits, and he comes out to cartwheel with The Ascension, too, stepping towards Cesaro before making their way into the ring, a little stare down from Stardust to Cesaro. Unfortunately, he’s not there to make trouble for Cesaro, but to take part in a six man tag match of Cosmic Wasteland vs Neville and the Dudley Boyz. Neville deserves better than this match, and it’s just nice to see Stardust not sat in the audience for once, but we’ll take what we’re given. The ‘we want tables’ chant starts with Neville against Viktor, before Stardust tags himself in and gets a little confounded by how fast Neville is, but The Ascension pull the rope down a little and let Neville drop over the edge onto the outside of the ring on his back. Stardust pulls him up and slams his head onto the announce table, before getting himself back into the ring as we get to an eight count. Konnor gets tagged in just in time to slam Neville back to the floor outside the ring. When we come back from the break, Viktor is now working over Neville, but now back in the ring, with a cover for two. He pulls him down, trying to get him to submit, but Neville gets himself back up and pins Viktor.

Stardust tags himself back in, stamping viciously on Neville before turning to taunt the Dudleys. Neville goes for something in the corner, but Stardust get him off the ropes, tagging Viktor in. Viktor tries to stop Neville from tagging, but we get Bubba planting Viktor, before Stardust climbs into the ring and takes an elbow from Bubba, before Konnor gets planted too, with D-Von making a flying move that clearly goes nowhere near anyone else. As the Dudleys call for the tables, Stardust crawls back into the ring and gets a disaster kick on Bubba, taking him down, screaming ‘Score one for the Cosmic Wasteland’. Neville gets a missile dropkick, before taking out Konnor, getting kicked by Viktor, but with the rebound of that, we get 3-D from the Dudleys to pin Konnor and win the match.

 We get a nice recap of Bray vs Taker and how exciting that’ll be when we stop seeing the constant promos for it. It’s mood-setting, true, and the match is going to be incredible, but Bray has talked a lot in the last few weeks, and the recaps are getting more and more tiring. There’s no denying he’s a brilliant orator, and that this feud has been scripted brilliantly, but to be reminded every week means we’re less excited, rather than more. The tension drains out of it all, and while whoever does the video packages does a good edit, it’s all fast-moving camera angles and flashing lights, which makes it pretty difficult to watch. The echoing sentiment is ’25 years is long enough’ from Bray, so we have to wonder if Taker will go out on his own anniversary, or if he’ll hold out until Wrestlemania.

Tyler Breeze stalks out in hot pink pants this time, and he’s looking a lot less ginger than he was in the UK, which is a relief. Summer Rae with him, as always, looking wonderful – just hope she’s packed the lip balm. The VIP area is set up for them, and Breeze helpfully reminds us who Zack Ryder is, as he tells him his fashion sense is terrible, and that he reminds him of ‘uggo’ Dolph Ziggler. Breeze says that Summer upgraded from Ziggler to him, and that he never goes out of style. He says that Dolph can continue to do what he’s done in his whole career, and Summer breaks in to say ‘come up short’, waving her fingers two inches apart. Yup, that’s a dick joke. Stay classy, WWE. Just as Tyler gets into the ring, out comes Dolph, and Summer looks a little worried about the situation.

The match starts, and Ziggler lets himself into the VIP section, throwing their drinks around, as Ryder and Breeze throw themselves around, Breeze getting him into the corner as Dolph sips at a drink he seems to like better than the first. Summer Rae is grumpy about this, and is screaming at him to get out of their VIP section, as he’s not a VIP. Ryder gets knees to Breeze’s face, but Breeze manages to get himself out of the dropkick and pin Ryder, but Ziggler leaps into the ring, chasing Tyler out, and nails Breeze with a super kick to the face, leaving a distressed Summer to check her gorgeous new man’s face for damage.

 When we come back, Bray Wyatt has a message for Undertaker and Kane, so we start with the choral music of Taker’s druids, now Wyatt’s children, with lamb masks to show their allegiance. They stand aside as Wyatt’s music hits and the family make their way down to the ring.

Bray says he’s an honest man, as the crowd chants for Undertaker, and adds that though the bodies might walk about, he still has the souls of Kane and Undertaker, that he brings happiness and salvation to the druids. He says that at Survivor Series, there will be a chance for the Brothers of Destruction to redeem themselves, and that they’ll obviously fail – but the question is, how? Erick Rowan, the unwanted vengeance machine? Luke Harper, with a moral code that lets him inflict pain without feeling remorse? Or Braun Strowman, the black sheep, who dreams of making great men fall and likes shattering bones to dust. The crowd seems restless, shouting ‘what’ after every line from Strowman – and then Taker’s bell hits, and the family are left in darkness and shock – though really, this happens every time they come out to talk about this. What happens, they lock them up and conveniently forget to leave someone guarding them before wandering out to the ring? Undertaker isn’t in the building, so he talks from the titantron about how he and Kane will reclaim what is theirs, and we see Kane holding a burning sheep mask, before his pyro goes off and all of the druids are lying on the ground around the ring. The crowd shouts ‘rest in peace’, but Bray just seems to laugh.

 We cut to the uncomfortable scene from the Diva’s contract signing at Raw, where WWE invoked the ‘dead sibling rule’ and the two women had to be pulled apart by the refs. When we cut back, we see Brie Bella in the ring, ready to face Charlotte. Commentary decide they’d rather talk about the Wyatts as the two women match up on the middle of the ring, Charlotte getting an early roll up on Brie. Charlotte takes a vicious elbow to the face before Brie gets Charlotte down for a couple of one counts, the two women very evenly matched as Charlotte gets Brie with a great dropkick and takes her down for the two count. She keeps rolling Brie over, and commentary finally stop talking about Paige and decide to call the match as Charlotte starts to take some back elbows from Brie.

Brie Mode is called, with a knee to Charlotte’s face followed by a dropkick, to take Charlotte down for the two count. Charlotte takes a couple of kicks to the chest from Brie, but Charlotte dodges, and the women take each other down with a double clothesline. Brie is up first and catches Charlotte with some right hooks, while Charlotte gets some Flair chops in, taking Brie down with a superkick, but Brie kicks out of the pin at two. Charlotte goes for the knee drop, but gets dodged, brie going for the Bella buster, but Charlotte moves and finally gets a spear on Brie, into the figure eight, and Brie taps out to give Charlotte the win.

Renee Young is interviewing Paige, asking if Paige thinks she’s pushed Charlotte too far. Paige responds by patronising Renee, as if the poor women doesn’t have enough to cope with, saying Charlotte completely overreacted. Renee says that it was a very personal thing, and Paige say that there are no lines that cannot be crossed when it comes down to the championship.

 The New Day come out, Big E with his wonderful jiggling as per usual, and they can never just get into the ring and get on with it, which is great. They’re very unhappy they weren’t included in the WWE World Heavyweight Championship tournament (especially as they’re Seth’s best and only friends), because Ryback certainly didn’t deserve a space, and nor did Kalisto. While Xavier crawls on the floor doing his best impression of the tiny dragon, Eden Stiles cracks up in the background. The New Day Rocks chant rises, and the Lucha Dragons’ music hits. We learn that tonight’s match is Big E vs Kalisto, whose new t-shirt merch seems to be some sort of cybergoth shade of yellow.

Big E gets a couple of kicks from Kalisto and a good corkscrew cross-body into a pin, with Sin Cara trying to take out Xavier and Kofi outside the ring. Kalisto flies through the ropes into them, but when he gets back in the ring he makes the mistake of leaving his back to Big E for too long. Big E gets the splash for the three count, which looks physically very painful for poor Kalisto, and then the pelvic thrusting begins again. Slightly worried Big E is just really itchy in those shiny shorts, and it’s the only way for him to relieve it. See a doctor, E!

The New Day stand to taunt Kalisto, stretching him out for another splash from Big E, and then Ryback’s music hits and the Big Guy runs down to the ring, taking out Xavier and Kofi easily, with Big E getting a few hots in before taking Big E down with a clothesline. As E struggles on the ground, he gets a huge splash on Big E, and Ryback picks up his Lucha buddies, for which he is profusely thanked.

There’s a long segment about Miz and Paige in Santa’s Little Helper that I’m… not even going to comment on. We’re informed that because Dolph hurt poor Tyler’s pretty face, the two will have a match at Survivor Series on Sunday, which should be good to watch.

 We cut to Dean and Roman backstage, preparing for their match against Del Rio and Kevin Owens, and Dean’s excited to beat the tar out of them. But Roman faces the fact that it could come down to the two of them at the end, and that he’ll treat Dean like everyone else, that there will be a fight Sunday night, whatever happens. They both want the title, and thought they’ll go over together, they’re not going to be holding back. They fist-bump, and we’re taken through to the ring.

Kevin Owens comes out first, followed by his tag team partner Del Rio (with Colter around, as always), and then Dean, followed by Roman making his way through the crowd. So this is a four man tag, setting up the unlikely alliance between Del Rio and Owens to fight against the established team of Ambrose and Reigns. Owens and Ambrose start off in the ring, Dean getting a good pin down, getting Owens down a couple of times before Owens gets a knee to his gut. He tags Roman in, and then bounces Owens over the edge of the ring, Del Rio sliding in to deal with Reigns as Owens shakes off the blow and leaves the ring. Dean sends Del Rio over the edge with a clothesline, leaving Dean and Roman alone in the ring.

We come back to KO and Del Rio taking their anger out on Roman Reigns, in the corner, as far away from Dean as he can get, but he manages to escape and make the tag, Dean getting solid jabs into Del Rio. Ambrose gets the running bulldog, then comes over the top rope to get KO. Del Rio catches him with a running enzuigiri, stunning Dean, dragging him into the barricades and then back into the ring, pinning him for two.  KO is tagged in, and plants Dean in the centre of the ring, before putting him in a sleeper hold. Dean powers out, get a head butt, but KO taking him down again and sends him back into the corner, where Del Rio gets him with a couple of kicks, taking him down flat before he take a cheap shot to Reigns, who surges into the ring to protect his boy. Del Rio and KO won’t give Dean a second of space to draw breath, keeping him in their corner, but Dean gets some good jabs in on Owens before he falls back onto the ropes, KO’s foot on his throat. KO holds Dean in the corner, lets Del Rio hit him with some strong kicks, and Dean kicks out at two again, before being put back in the sleeper. He powers out by Del Rio hits him with a backstabber. Ambrose keeps kicking out at two, but he’s in the middle of the ring, away from Reigns. He takes Del Rio with a small package, rolling hip up, then come off the ropes and finally makes a tag.

Del Rio tags in KO, and the punishment begins, KO taking a drive by that leaves him staggering, before he comes off the ropes and gives him a boot to the chin. He goes for the superman punch, but Del Rio tries for a cheap shot from outside the apron – but Roman counters it, and still manages to slam KO into the mat. He looks like he’ll get the win, but Del Rio breaks it up, Reigns throwing him over the ropes but turning to a boot from KO. Dean comes in to the rescue, flying over the ropes and into KO, taking him down. Once he’s up, however, Del Rio smashes his head into the announce table, with Dean throwing him over it. Ambrose is taking on KO outside the ring, but Del Rio comes back angry, taking out Reigns into the steps, and the continually punching Ambrose after the bell has been rung and all participants were disqualified via count out.

Del Rio rolls Dean back into the ring and tries to put him in a hold, but Dean hits dirty deeds, then leaps when KO goes for the pop-up powerbomb, leaving Owens clear to be hit by a spear from Reigns – it’s a beautiful spot, and really shows just how on point these four men are, going into the PPV on Sunday. Roman’s music hits, Dean and Roman in the ring together, and we close out SmackDown with the lingering thought of Dean and Roman fighting each other for the title on Sunday as Dean and Roman both stand by the title, trying to decide who wants it the most. The bump fists over the title, and SmackDown is over. Phew!